I'm Back! Stronger than Ever.

Do you know what happens when you chose to not workout for a month? Your endurance becomes close to nothing. Your muscles are extremely sore after 10 minutes. You feel like you’re starting all over again. Most important, you discover a new-found love and passion again for your health and body.

On Dec, 26, as promised I got back on track after the crazy month of holidays. I got back in the gym and killed myself. I found myself struggling and gasping for air. It was tough, emotionally. I used to lift heavier, go faster, keep up, and feel my body changing. Now, I’m starting from the beginning again, pacing myself, and listening to my body scream, “What have you done?!” How frustrating? I absolutely put myself in this position. I chose to not workout for a month and to eat poorly.

However, I don’t regret it. The past two days in the gym; I feel in love. I felt myself break down mentally and have to push harder and because I completed all reps and upped my weights, I fell in love with myself again. I was so fearful that I had let go or given up. But knowing I haven’t…gives me the hope that this lifestyle is working and sticking. I’ve never discovered myself until I changed my lifestyle. I had no purpose in my life…I was just living. It took me to push, trust, love, and motivate myself before I knew my worth as a person and child of God. 

I had a great time working out with my friend, Tiffany! She came a hour from home to visit me and workout with me. How lucky am I to have such fantastic friends? I had such a great time being back home in Keller with friends and family. I found that being home with my family for both Thanksgiving and Christmas helped my depression. I haven’t been home in two years for Christmas and I’m so glad I came home. I know I’m more prone being depressed during the winter months, but having 6 days being home with my family, next to the wood stove, and something familiar and comfortable really helped me realize that I can always come home.  

Me, Nana, & Momma the morning I left.

So now, I’m back home in Missoula from being at home for 6 days and it’s time to get back into a routine. I’m so excited to push myself and really earn a reward of a tattoo on January 29 for my 22^nd birthday.

I’m so excited to embrace this new phase in my journey. This was needed. The past 4 weeks was necessary for me to feel like I am right now, in this moment. I wouldn’t change the way I walk through this journey for anything. I am learning to embrace each day and each new lesson so I can become this, new and improved Chelsea that has the world at my fingertips.

I can’t express how much a person’s soul can change when they challenge and surprise themselves. If you ever want to doubt yourself, stop and challenge yourself to think and act differently. You’ll never regret it. I promise it.

New Goal to Enter the New Year!

I've said it once and I'll say it again: I'm not perfect. This holiday season has been the longest I've gone without working out and eating right since I started this journey but I've learned a lot about myself and have made a lot of mental triumphs.

However, I've recently felt the change in my body. Some of my clothes don't fit as loose as they did in November, my skin isn't as clear, I feel sluggish, and all I want to do is sleep. Yes, I hate winter because of my depression. 

Because of these changes here are my NEW goals as of December 26. I plan on rewarding myself to help me stay on track and not slip up. From December 26-January 29 I will do the following in order to buy myself a tattoo on my 22nd birthday (January 29).

• Workout 6 days a week. 1 rest day (unless I'm sick from the chest down).
• Eat clean 90/10 during the week. 
• No eating out until February 1! Even on my birthday. 
• 1 gallon of water a day. 
• Try 1 new recipe each week (and post the recipe on the blog). 

I'm so excited to get back on track. i'm still proud of my accomplishments so far, but I'm excited to see where I'll be with my new found passion and desire to keep this journey going. 

In other news, I'm so so so so so so so so so blessed by the people and opportunities in my life! My Aunt Sue totally out did herself this Christmas! She has continuously supported my journey and life since the day we met. So, thank you for my awesome new workout gear and smell good that I was eying the day before!

 

My office did a "Secret Santa" exchange this year which was so much fun! I was lucky enough to have the Dean of the Graduate School draw my name and he and his daughter picked out a book I've wanted for months!! I encourage all my PCOS Cysters to get it for their collection! 

 Finally, I own my first Lululemon products! I was luck enough to win an awesome giveaway on Instagram and I got a $50.00 gift card. Now, I've had several people talk to me about the company and owner and how he has said mean hurtful things toward plus size women. I was not aware of it, and hope that there is no judgement being made. I will do my research and make a decision to either support or discontinue my business with Lululemon. However, I would have never ordered the headbands and underwear with my own money because their items are far too expensive for my lifestyle.

  I want to end this post by saying thank you! Thank you for the support. I appreciate it more than words can say. I hope you have a very MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!!! I will check in after the new year. I'm off to Washington until December 29! So excited to be with family and friends this Christmas. 

Pause or Plateau? Exhausted or Excuses?

I have discovered this new "phase"...yes, lets call it a "phase". Phases end, right? Anyway, this new phase began as an innocent weekend of fun with friends. You know, bars, bad food and even worse breakfast food the next day. I told myself: 1. You don't go out a lot so you deserve to have fun. 2. You won't gain all the weight back in a weekend, you're 21, so don't act like you're 80. I had a great weekend with friends, especially my best friend who came into town from Iowa.

The following week was the week I left on Wed for Washington to spend time with family for Thanksgiving. I refused to buy groceries to put in my house to have most of them go to waste. (I haven't learned how to buy less than 7 days worth of food). 

Before & During.

Just like everyone else who celebrate holidays, I continued to make poor choices when it came to food. It wasn't completely horrible, but definitely not as clean as it should have been. I told myself that life is about adjusting and not worrying during a time that's supposed to be happy and filled with memories. 

Progress is progress. No matter what.

To be completely honest, I had a hard time staying on track because I've been struggling financially; along with the rest of America, I'm sure. I know it isn't impossible to eat clean or make smart choices on a low budget, but I didn't take the necessary steps like meal prepping or planning meals. 

I've had a couple of victories through the last 3 weeks. I've learned a lot about what I care about and what no longer takes up my concentration and focus. 

I can eat bad food in front of people, instead of binging. 
I know that my body responds better to clean food. 
Alcohol makes my stomach hurt; the sugar content in some drinks puts me in so much pain.
Too much bread in a week causes for major bloat and gluten belly. 
I no longer care about the scale; I measure success by visual improvements and clothes. 
My confidence was still high; even without working out and eating clean.  

I'm excited to continue this beautiful journey. My soul has transformed so much; there's no way I'll be stopping, ever. 

New "before" pictures. Next pictures will be on my 22nd birthday.

 I'm now working toward feeling AMAZING on my 22nd birthday! I know the past 3 weeks have put me back a little, but I am going to work hard to feel AMAZING on my birthday. Last year, I didn't take a full body shot photo because I was so embarrassed; no more of that!

New hair. Love going red! :)