Monday, January 20, 2014

"Goals to Meet & Records to Break"

With my success of running on Friday and my emotional/mental victory I felt like a new woman! I knew my weekend would be very relaxed and full of activity to ensure that I "meet my goals and break records". 

Saturday was rest day! Boo ya! 

On Sunday, my friend Krystal and I went to my gym and had a 2 hour session of a full body workout. We did a 30 minute circuit ranging from burpees, squats, weighted squats, arm (focusing on triceps), and donkey kicks. Then, we spent a good hour on different machines focusing on legs and arms. We did 15 of the the heaviest weight we could tolerate, then 10 of the weight below X3. Then, we got on the treadmill but my shins were on fire, so I spent 20+minutes on the stair stepper while Krystal did intervals on the treadmill. We finished with 10 minutes in the sauna. Boy, did I feel it this morning! 
 This morning, (Monday-three day weekend!) I made 2 eggs with 7 grain oats (oatmeal) with a half a frozen banana and some dark chocolate peanut butter in it for some fuel before I headed to the gym. Once I got to the gym, I decided that no matter what I would be doing 40+ minutes on the treadmill. Once again, the shin splints came back. I decided to increase the incline and decrease the running speed so that it was a constant jog or power walk. I felt pretty good! I got to the point of realizing it didn't matter if I couldn't run, as long as I was sweating! I am looking into actual running shoes that are for my type of feet (I think some extra arch support while running will help). 
Morning Workout.

 I went home and put a whole chicken in my crock pot so I could have some delicious chicken for the week & had lunch. It was so beautiful out, I'm limiting how I describe the beauty because it's the end of January and it's like it's April out...I don't want to jinx it!
Haha. Anyway, I told myself I would go back to the gym to do weights but realized I was pretty sore from the day before and I didn't want to be inside. I headed out to the Hidden Trail behind my house! It's the trail/mountain that started it ALL! 

It was the first workout I did on April 6 and it was a "beast" that I had to battle time and time again. I found determination and passion on that trail and it's why I am the the person today! My first hike, it took me nearly 45 minutes to hike up the trail because of having to stop and having an anxiety attack every 10 minutes because I was telling myself I couldn't do it. Today, I ran up the trail in less than 15 minutes. I stopped, enjoyed the view, and did some stretching before I made my way back down. How amazing? I'm not going to talk about how out of shape I was or how sad I was 70+ lbs ago, because I'm so damn proud of what I did that day. I didn't give up and I kept going back. I'm only getting better! 

Tomorrow starts another work week, but I'm positive I'll make it to the gym each night like I did this last week. I'm so excited to see my transformation and journey continue. I've felt in a rut for months, still making small steps, but the reality is...this is life. I won't reach a goal weight and stay there just because. I will have to work at this for the rest of my life, but the differance between who I was months ago and who I am today, I'm okay with that! I'm excited to live a healthy life for years to come and find myself "surprised" by accomplishments I make each day. I always say that you need to surprise yourself in order to see change and progress! 

Have a fab week everyone, will update soon! 

Saturday, January 18, 2014

Running Accomplishments & Finding Help

On Tuesday, I started to focus on running. I told a friend I would be running with her this year, and I made a promise to honor my friend/brother, Mamoru who is no longer with us on earth. He was one of my biggest supporters during my lifestyle change and in my everyday life, and I'm dedicating everything I do to "surprise myself" in his name. Every run, hike, milestone, accomplishment will have his name behind it. 

So, I started the week on Tuesday running 2 miles. I wasn't going for time, I just made sure I could run/walk do intervals for 2 miles. In different intervals I did 2 miles in 31:12. On Wednesday, I decided to go to 2.5 no matter what, but I wanted to see if I could beat my 2 mile mark and I also timed my first mile. I did a mile in 14:38 & beat my 2 mile time by 1:54. On Thursday, I decided to focus more on my arms. I did a circuit & then simply did a cool down walk at an incline. On Friday, I told myself that I wanted to beat my time of my mile of 14:38 because that wasn't good enough for me. I ran my warm up mile in 12:30 which shaved 2:08 off the previous one. Once I took the picture of the time, I thought to myself, 'you should run a 5k, see how it feels'. I hadn't ran/walked/jogged a 5k since October and I wasn't in shape like I was in October. I continued to run another 2.1 miles in 27:59. I had ran a 5k in 40.29. Is that good? It is for me!

I found myself sprinting at the end and hearing this voice in my head say, "You can do this, your lungs are fine, look ahead and run!" When I looked down and saw 2.09 I knew I did it. When I hit that stop button and put my hands on my head to continue my breathing, I started to cry while I was smiling. I had this sense of freedom from the thoughts of 'wow, a 5k the first week you're running, really?' or 'you should ease into this, take it slow'. I came back to the treadmill with the disinfectant spray and rag to wipe it down when the gentlemen next to me got my attention and extended his fist to congratulate me on my win against the voices in my head. 

With yesterdays win, I kept thinking of Mamoru and trying to wrap my head around that I will never feel his hugs or get a phone call from him. I had a friend say "Breathing feels weird when you miss someone so much". It's true. I sat on my couch last night, wrap up in a blanket, staring at his phone number in my phone, sobbing until I couldn't breathe. I let every emotion over-power my mental strength and I just cried until I had to gasp for air. What happened next, I know was a sign. I went to the bathroom to grab tissue and I stopped at the fridge, opened it, starred at the box of pizza my boyfriend ordered earlier and stood there until my eyes were dry. I watched myself grab the box and eat the entire content. I also saw myself crying, again after the binge. I closed the fridge and knew that it was my way of telling myself that the binge I was longing for wouldn't fix the emotional pain I was experiencing. 

What did I do? I drank another 24 oz of water and crawled in bed, said my prayers, and had a dream of running a marathon. All day I kept seeing that scenario play in my head and how it actually played out and I felt a sense of freedom and accomplishment. I made the decision that I will be seeing a counselor when school starts. There is a program on campus for students to discuss any eating issues. I need to focus on mental strength and knowing that I don't need to binge to overcome something painful. It's only harming me in another form.Running has been a saving grace for me this week. I am actually really excited to continue this journey. Of course, I'm still lifting and focusing on my overall goals, but I already see some definition in my stomach area that wasn't there on Tuesday and my legs seem stronger as well. Every time I've ran this week, I've felt a sense of relief or a wall break down; even relating to stresses at work, they seem to disappear and I'm able to mentally process the issues. Between seeing a counselor and running, I've got a pretty great therapy plan, I think. 

Today was my rest day, but I'm off to crawl into bed to prepare for a 2 hour workout with my good friend, Krystal at my gym in the morning. I'm excited to share with her some of my normal routine and just get some more exercise in. I'm feeling better than ever. 



Tuesday, January 14, 2014


I'm not a runner. At all. I used to run outside during the summer and would run a mile and time it. I never did distance, just timed runs. I made a promise in honor my friend/brother, Mamoru to run at least 5- 5K's within a year, because he was my biggest supporter. I'm going to run in the name of depression and suicide. 

I met a new friend, Krystal and she is way more of a runner than I am so, I found someone I can participate in 5K's with! YAY! I'm taking this year seriously when it comes to running. I'm battling with myself mentally, because I love weights, I LOVE lifting! Will all the running ruin muscle gain or progress? I've done research and there's conflicting information...just like everything else out there! 

I've decided that I will run strictly 3xs a week and lift with light cardio 3xs a week and hope that I find a balance. I did my first long distance run today with intervals of speeds and a couple of inclines to strengthen my endurance. Of course, this schedule won't be every single week because I plan to add in boxing again and other workouts, but I'm hoping to really stick to this in order to run 5k's and of course BLOOMSDAY!!!! 

Today was the first day of longer distance. Tomorrow, I plan on getting to 2.5 miles within or just shortly longer than today's time! 

 I'm also LOVING my Spark energy mix! Talk about awesome stuff. I know it was a big reason why I actually ran for 30 minutes instead of just walking.

Wednesday, January 1, 2014

Happy New Year

I'm not one to set resolutions because lets face it, by July, I forgot what I said would be my resolution. Some people live for their New Years Resolutions and they do great by accomplishing what they set forth to complete. I remember last year, when the clock struck midnight and I was slightly intoxicated I told myself that I wanted to be healthy. I didn't want to feel horrible when I was around friends who were enjoying life. I have to say I think I kept my promise to myself, but I realized throughout this past year that it's a promise I have to keep until my final days on Earth. 

In 2014, I've decided to keep something in the back of my mind at all times and to promise myself to see improvements in this area. Finances. You're probably a lot like me in the sense that finances are a burden and a constant stress. I do live paycheck to paycheck, but I know I don't have to. I've told myself in order to break this cycle and stressful topic, I need to plan RIGHT NOW. I will end 2014 with a nice savings account. That's my promise to myself.

2013 has been an amazing year. Tough, really really really really tough, but amazing. I've learned so much about myself that I don't know how I ever was who I was before. 

I'm not going to take too much time talking about how tough or amazing 2013 was because guess's 2014 & who likes living in the past? 

I want to end my evening on one note: you mean the world to me. If you're reading this for the first time or have followed my journey since the beginning, you truly mean the world to me. Your support, interest, love, nice words, and encouragement keeps me going. The past month and a half was the toughest part and instead of feeling like I'm behind, I'm picking up right where I left off. Currently in my kitchen, I have some meal prepping going on and it doesn't feel like I've struggled the last month. I'm back in my groove, and I hope that you are staying focused or that you're starting for the first time. Just keep pushing forward. 

Thank you for your love, I wouldn't be where I am with you.