On Dec, 26, as promised I got back on track after the crazy month of holidays. I got back in the gym and killed myself. I found myself struggling and gasping for air. It was tough, emotionally. I used to lift heavier, go faster, keep up, and feel my body changing. Now, I’m starting from the beginning again, pacing myself, and listening to my body scream, “What have you done?!” How frustrating? I absolutely put myself in this position. I chose to not workout for a month and to eat poorly.
However, I don’t regret it. The past two days in the gym; I feel in love. I felt myself break down mentally and have to push harder and because I completed all reps and upped my weights, I fell in love with myself again. I was so fearful that I had let go or given up. But knowing I haven’t…gives me the hope that this lifestyle is working and sticking. I’ve never discovered myself until I changed my lifestyle. I had no purpose in my life…I was just living. It took me to push, trust, love, and motivate myself before I knew my worth as a person and child of God.
I had a great time working out with my friend, Tiffany! She came a hour from home to visit me and workout with me. How lucky am I to have such fantastic friends? I had such a great time being back home in Keller with friends and family. I found that being home with my family for both Thanksgiving and Christmas helped my depression. I haven’t been home in two years for Christmas and I’m so glad I came home. I know I’m more prone being depressed during the winter months, but having 6 days being home with my family, next to the wood stove, and something familiar and comfortable really helped me realize that I can always come home.
|Me, Nana, & Momma the morning I left.|
So now, I’m back home in Missoula from being at home for 6 days and it’s time to get back into a routine. I’m so excited to push myself and really earn a reward of a tattoo on January 29 for my 22nd birthday.
I’m so excited to embrace this new phase in my journey. This was needed. The past 4 weeks was necessary for me to feel like I am right now, in this moment. I wouldn’t change the way I walk through this journey for anything. I am learning to embrace each day and each new lesson so I can become this, new and improved Chelsea that has the world at my fingertips.
I can’t express how much a person’s soul can change when they challenge and surprise themselves. If you ever want to doubt yourself, stop and challenge yourself to think and act differently. You’ll never regret it. I promise it.