On Dec, 26, as promised I got back on track after the crazy
month of holidays. I got back in the gym and killed myself. I found myself
struggling and gasping for air. It was tough, emotionally. I used to lift
heavier, go faster, keep up, and feel my body changing. Now, I’m starting from
the beginning again, pacing myself, and listening to my body scream, “What have
you done?!” How frustrating? I absolutely put myself in this position. I chose
to not workout for a month and to eat poorly.
However, I don’t regret it. The past two days in the gym; I
feel in love. I felt myself break down mentally and have to push harder and
because I completed all reps and upped my weights, I fell in love with myself
again. I was so fearful that I had let go or given up. But knowing I
haven’t…gives me the hope that this lifestyle is working and sticking. I’ve
never discovered myself until I changed my lifestyle. I had no purpose in my
life…I was just living. It took me to push, trust, love, and motivate myself
before I knew my worth as a person and child of God.
I had a great time working out with my friend, Tiffany! She
came a hour from home to visit me and workout with me. How lucky am I to have
such fantastic friends? I had such a great time being back home in Keller with
friends and family. I found that being home with my family for both
Thanksgiving and Christmas helped my depression. I haven’t been home in two
years for Christmas and I’m so glad I came home. I know I’m more prone being
depressed during the winter months, but having 6 days being home with my
family, next to the wood stove, and something familiar and comfortable really
helped me realize that I can always come home.
Me, Nana, & Momma the morning I left. |
So now, I’m back home in Missoula from being at home for 6
days and it’s time to get back into a routine. I’m so excited to push
myself and really earn a reward of a tattoo on January 29 for my 22nd birthday.
I’m so excited to embrace this new phase in my journey. This
was needed. The past 4 weeks was necessary for me to feel like I am right now,
in this moment. I wouldn’t change the way I walk through this journey for
anything. I am learning to embrace each day and each new lesson so I can become
this, new and improved Chelsea that has the world at my fingertips.
I can’t express how much a person’s soul can change when
they challenge and surprise themselves. If you ever want to doubt yourself,
stop and challenge yourself to think and act differently. You’ll never regret
it. I promise it.
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