Personal Trainer Melt Down

Lets play catch up real quick.

Two or three weeks ago, I got a membership at Missoula Title Boxing Club. I had gone for 3 weeks in November and honestly loved the workouts and the results I saw. I was hooked, so I made the investment. It isn't just the results, it's the desire and passion to get up and go every day...what else could I want?

I decided I wanted to FINALLY jump into the idea/plan of getting a personal trainer. I took classes from almost every trainer at the gym and decided that Rachel would push me yet be someone I could lean on when things seemed to get tough. Support & tough love are a must during this journey. Trust me :) 

Krystal & I after one of first 5:30 am workout classes!

So, I got a trainer, sent her information about me & on Tuesday February February 4 I had my consultation and first session. I hadn't worked out in almost a week and the weekend before was my birthday weekend. I knew I'd struggle because what she was going to have me do was probably stuff I hadn't done before. 

I listened, paid attention, and did work. I laughed, wanted to vomit, winced, pushed a little harder, almost gave up, and soaked in all the information she was giving me during sets. I was drenched in sweat and my body was trembling. I hadn't done weights in weeks (focusing on running time to time and skipping some workouts). It was a great eye opener. Now, what I'm going to explain...has taken me almost a week to TRY to put into words. I don't feel as embarrassed to share it with you because I had a friend tell me that it's completely normal and that she's done it from time to time. And thinking back, I've had this happen before but it smaller magnitudes.

When we finished my training session, my legs were shaking and my heart was racing and I couldn't run out of the building fast enough. I felt this sense of embarrassment but I couldn't figure it out? I was changing my shoes and my body was screaming for me to get out of the building. I needed to be alone. I felt embarrassed, but I kept telling myself 'you just did something that you would have never even thought of doing a few months ago'. I was talking down my mind but my body was screaming at me. Yes, I had just pushed it pretty hard so I was just trying to calm down. When the cold air and snow hit my face, I couldn't stop the tears. I fumbled with my keys, sunk into my car ,and sobbed while my body just shook.

I started my car and Katy Perry's song "Roar" came on and I continued to cry. I mean the kind of cry where there was snot rolling down my face into my mouth, mascara completely ruined, and abs hurting crying. Once I wiped my eyes dry, I started laughing. About absolutely nothing. After about 20 minutes of sitting in my car, I drove home. I had to remind myself to pay attention to what I was doing because I found myself going "blank" every couple of minutes. I was exhausted in ALL aspects. 

I thought I was having a break down, and felt SOOO silly but after thinking about it; I think it comes down to three things. 

1. What I'm doing in my life to better myself is VERY spiritual and emotional. I'm becoming in-tune with parts of my body, soul, and mind that I never knew existed. I'm learning something new about myself every single day. After almost a year, I'm still about to surprise myself every single day and that's the most gratifying and rewarding feeling ever.
2. I've started another Point A. I always LOVE tracking my progress by pictures and small goals and reaching them. I've put another "Point A" on my map. I've started a VERY big chapter by adding in more strength and having advice and support from a professional. I can ONLY become better from here on out! 
3. I am proud. I'm becoming the person I want and know I can be. I am proud that I'm able to push a little harder and that I can ignore that voice in my head that tells me to give up. I worked past that voice that day and my body realized that it's capable of so much more than my mind knows!

I'm Back! Stronger than Ever.

Do you know what happens when you chose to not workout for a month? Your endurance becomes close to nothing. Your muscles are extremely sore after 10 minutes. You feel like you’re starting all over again. Most important, you discover a new-found love and passion again for your health and body.

On Dec, 26, as promised I got back on track after the crazy month of holidays. I got back in the gym and killed myself. I found myself struggling and gasping for air. It was tough, emotionally. I used to lift heavier, go faster, keep up, and feel my body changing. Now, I’m starting from the beginning again, pacing myself, and listening to my body scream, “What have you done?!” How frustrating? I absolutely put myself in this position. I chose to not workout for a month and to eat poorly.

However, I don’t regret it. The past two days in the gym; I feel in love. I felt myself break down mentally and have to push harder and because I completed all reps and upped my weights, I fell in love with myself again. I was so fearful that I had let go or given up. But knowing I haven’t…gives me the hope that this lifestyle is working and sticking. I’ve never discovered myself until I changed my lifestyle. I had no purpose in my life…I was just living. It took me to push, trust, love, and motivate myself before I knew my worth as a person and child of God. 

I had a great time working out with my friend, Tiffany! She came a hour from home to visit me and workout with me. How lucky am I to have such fantastic friends? I had such a great time being back home in Keller with friends and family. I found that being home with my family for both Thanksgiving and Christmas helped my depression. I haven’t been home in two years for Christmas and I’m so glad I came home. I know I’m more prone being depressed during the winter months, but having 6 days being home with my family, next to the wood stove, and something familiar and comfortable really helped me realize that I can always come home.  

Me, Nana, & Momma the morning I left.

So now, I’m back home in Missoula from being at home for 6 days and it’s time to get back into a routine. I’m so excited to push myself and really earn a reward of a tattoo on January 29 for my 22^nd birthday.

I’m so excited to embrace this new phase in my journey. This was needed. The past 4 weeks was necessary for me to feel like I am right now, in this moment. I wouldn’t change the way I walk through this journey for anything. I am learning to embrace each day and each new lesson so I can become this, new and improved Chelsea that has the world at my fingertips.

I can’t express how much a person’s soul can change when they challenge and surprise themselves. If you ever want to doubt yourself, stop and challenge yourself to think and act differently. You’ll never regret it. I promise it.

NOVEMBER! New Month, New Goals!

November 1st? Where has the last year gone? It's amazing how much can change and how much a person can improve themselves in such a short amount of time! I don't even miss the person I was last year! Anyway, lets focus on THIS MONTH! The last 7-10 days were tough for me. I was in a funk mentally, and I think a part of it was being homesick. For some reason, seeing November on the calendars made me realize that I will see my family on Thanksgiving, and it will come soon! I decided to start this month NEW, REFRESHED, & READY to kick some butt. 

A couple days before the end of October, I got some exciting, motivating, and incredible news. I got some blood work done a couple weeks ago for a Wellness Check through my job. I requested to have pretty much a full panel done, especially on my glucose and A1C numbers. The past 6 years, my A1C number has been a 7.5-7.8 on a scale of 4.0-6.0. When I recieved my lab work back, my results for my A1C was 5.0!! This was the push and affirmation I needed that what I am doing is working for MY BODY! 

I have some November goals in mind and I'm so excited to reach them! Here are my November Goals. (If this is the first time you're seeing goals like these, I encourage you to make some for yourself! Every month focus on these 3-7 things you want to accomplish! They can be as little or as big as you choose).

Let me break them down a little. Especially the first one. "2 a days" or 2 workouts in one day. The first workout is fasted cardio; I will wake up and immidately change into workout gear and head to the gym (the cold air and soon to be snow on the ground isn't appealing to me at 6:30 in the morning). Check out the link for info on fasted cardio. After I get off work, I will go home, eat dinner and head back to the gym for weights and and more cardio! I did my first day of fasted cardio this morning and it was a great success so far! I'm excited to go home "carb up" and head to the gym for an intense workout session! My fasted cardio was 30 minutes on the eliptical and I burned over 300 calories (for those of you who love to count).

My plan this month to really challenge myself is to do this 4 consecutive days in a row. Monday-Tuesday! One the other 3 days, I will do one workout, on my rest day I will most likely do yoga or a light walk. I feel like my eating is on point a lot of the time and my workouts have been the same since about August so I'm trying to shock my body a little and try something new.

Meal prepping has become something the last few weeks that I enjoy and look forward to (WHO KNEW!) See...what we learn when we try new things, come on people! 
 

Did you know that Jillian  Michaels (MY FITSPO) has PCOS?

I also have taken full body progress pictures from all angles so I can compare how this month of a higher intensity of workouts do for my body. I can't wait to take a picture with my family and compare it against last year's thanksgiving photo! 

Yesterday, my office dressed up as duck dynasty/duck commanders. It was fun to see the kids come to the office and get toys and for people to look at us with our gross looking beards! 

 The best part is documenting this journey. I'm so shocked at the smallest changes, and how much better I feel after a long day by looking at a comparison picture. For me, it isn't because I look skinny or fit. My confidence and my smile is real! I look and gleam HEALTH! Where before, I was empty. 

Here's a little comparison picture of halloween 2011 vs 2013. 2011 wasn't even my heaviest weight!


I hope each one of you embrace a new month and work hard for the progress YOU WANT! I'm so motivated and excited to see where I'll be by the end of 2013. This year has been the greatest year of my life, even with my struggles, loss, heartache, and disappointment. I am more motivated to make my future all that it can be!

ONEderland!

No Scale July was tough mentally. But this morning, getting on my scale all of those emotions went away. I had a goal of 199 in my mind. That's it. That's all I wanted from 208. So to see 194.6 you better believe I screamed "Fuck yeah!" Today marks 16 weeks, 4 months. I am officially down -47.6 lbs.

Yesterday, my workout buddy, Raycee and I did a last chance workout of cardio, HIIT, the stair master, and then some core and ab workouts. It was a great burn and I was so excited at how awesome I felt afterward. 

Now, don't get me wrong this month about 3 out of the 4 weeks I was super strict and dedicated. I missed a few workouts due to being sick and the smoke in the air but I really ate clean. Then there were a few meals where I allowed myself to try new things or add more carbs to my diet. Yes, I was worried, but I always managed to workout really hard afterward or the next day. I think mentally I needed to know my boundaries of eating certain foods when it comes to the emotions that come with afterward. I haven't really "cheated" in months. I wanted to make sure I wouldn't feel guilty eating something I know I should stay away from. I never felt guilty which made me feel confident. Eating is such an emotional and mental event that takes places a lot during the day and it's important to be in a good head space so you aren't sabatoging yourself later down the road or feeling bad about a decision. 

 Last weekend, I was able to see my mom who has also lost some weight the past few months! Check out her progress! 

Aislinn (Big sister), Mom, & Myself

-31 lbs!

 This week I've also had a few Non-Scale Victories when it comes to clothes and overall confidence about my changing and improving body! 

Old Navy clothes, size 14, & my first pair of colored skinny jeans! 

Umm...Hello Confidence! love them!

I've been dairy free for a little over a week now, and sometimes it gets really hard and other times I don't think about it. My friend Annie who is a PCOS fighter & who has lost -75 lbs with healthy eating and Barre3 mentioned the idea of cutting out dairy to improve my breakouts and I can't believe how right she was! I of course talked to my doctor and it was mentioned & agreed upon as an option to try. I'm amazed at the difference in a week!

Here's a pretty funny progress picture. On the L I was 250 in February 2013 and on the R was this week. 

July 1 vs July 31. Month progress. I see improvements and change especially in my back area but at the same time I am excited to keep pushing and see what the difference will be this month. 

 

 

My August Goals!