I'm Back! Stronger than Ever.

Do you know what happens when you chose to not workout for a month? Your endurance becomes close to nothing. Your muscles are extremely sore after 10 minutes. You feel like you’re starting all over again. Most important, you discover a new-found love and passion again for your health and body.

On Dec, 26, as promised I got back on track after the crazy month of holidays. I got back in the gym and killed myself. I found myself struggling and gasping for air. It was tough, emotionally. I used to lift heavier, go faster, keep up, and feel my body changing. Now, I’m starting from the beginning again, pacing myself, and listening to my body scream, “What have you done?!” How frustrating? I absolutely put myself in this position. I chose to not workout for a month and to eat poorly.

However, I don’t regret it. The past two days in the gym; I feel in love. I felt myself break down mentally and have to push harder and because I completed all reps and upped my weights, I fell in love with myself again. I was so fearful that I had let go or given up. But knowing I haven’t…gives me the hope that this lifestyle is working and sticking. I’ve never discovered myself until I changed my lifestyle. I had no purpose in my life…I was just living. It took me to push, trust, love, and motivate myself before I knew my worth as a person and child of God. 

I had a great time working out with my friend, Tiffany! She came a hour from home to visit me and workout with me. How lucky am I to have such fantastic friends? I had such a great time being back home in Keller with friends and family. I found that being home with my family for both Thanksgiving and Christmas helped my depression. I haven’t been home in two years for Christmas and I’m so glad I came home. I know I’m more prone being depressed during the winter months, but having 6 days being home with my family, next to the wood stove, and something familiar and comfortable really helped me realize that I can always come home.  

Me, Nana, & Momma the morning I left.

So now, I’m back home in Missoula from being at home for 6 days and it’s time to get back into a routine. I’m so excited to push myself and really earn a reward of a tattoo on January 29 for my 22^nd birthday.

I’m so excited to embrace this new phase in my journey. This was needed. The past 4 weeks was necessary for me to feel like I am right now, in this moment. I wouldn’t change the way I walk through this journey for anything. I am learning to embrace each day and each new lesson so I can become this, new and improved Chelsea that has the world at my fingertips.

I can’t express how much a person’s soul can change when they challenge and surprise themselves. If you ever want to doubt yourself, stop and challenge yourself to think and act differently. You’ll never regret it. I promise it.

NOVEMBER! New Month, New Goals!

November 1st? Where has the last year gone? It's amazing how much can change and how much a person can improve themselves in such a short amount of time! I don't even miss the person I was last year! Anyway, lets focus on THIS MONTH! The last 7-10 days were tough for me. I was in a funk mentally, and I think a part of it was being homesick. For some reason, seeing November on the calendars made me realize that I will see my family on Thanksgiving, and it will come soon! I decided to start this month NEW, REFRESHED, & READY to kick some butt. 

A couple days before the end of October, I got some exciting, motivating, and incredible news. I got some blood work done a couple weeks ago for a Wellness Check through my job. I requested to have pretty much a full panel done, especially on my glucose and A1C numbers. The past 6 years, my A1C number has been a 7.5-7.8 on a scale of 4.0-6.0. When I recieved my lab work back, my results for my A1C was 5.0!! This was the push and affirmation I needed that what I am doing is working for MY BODY! 

I have some November goals in mind and I'm so excited to reach them! Here are my November Goals. (If this is the first time you're seeing goals like these, I encourage you to make some for yourself! Every month focus on these 3-7 things you want to accomplish! They can be as little or as big as you choose).

Let me break them down a little. Especially the first one. "2 a days" or 2 workouts in one day. The first workout is fasted cardio; I will wake up and immidately change into workout gear and head to the gym (the cold air and soon to be snow on the ground isn't appealing to me at 6:30 in the morning). Check out the link for info on fasted cardio. After I get off work, I will go home, eat dinner and head back to the gym for weights and and more cardio! I did my first day of fasted cardio this morning and it was a great success so far! I'm excited to go home "carb up" and head to the gym for an intense workout session! My fasted cardio was 30 minutes on the eliptical and I burned over 300 calories (for those of you who love to count).

My plan this month to really challenge myself is to do this 4 consecutive days in a row. Monday-Tuesday! One the other 3 days, I will do one workout, on my rest day I will most likely do yoga or a light walk. I feel like my eating is on point a lot of the time and my workouts have been the same since about August so I'm trying to shock my body a little and try something new.

Meal prepping has become something the last few weeks that I enjoy and look forward to (WHO KNEW!) See...what we learn when we try new things, come on people! 
 

Did you know that Jillian  Michaels (MY FITSPO) has PCOS?

I also have taken full body progress pictures from all angles so I can compare how this month of a higher intensity of workouts do for my body. I can't wait to take a picture with my family and compare it against last year's thanksgiving photo! 

Yesterday, my office dressed up as duck dynasty/duck commanders. It was fun to see the kids come to the office and get toys and for people to look at us with our gross looking beards! 

 The best part is documenting this journey. I'm so shocked at the smallest changes, and how much better I feel after a long day by looking at a comparison picture. For me, it isn't because I look skinny or fit. My confidence and my smile is real! I look and gleam HEALTH! Where before, I was empty. 

Here's a little comparison picture of halloween 2011 vs 2013. 2011 wasn't even my heaviest weight!


I hope each one of you embrace a new month and work hard for the progress YOU WANT! I'm so motivated and excited to see where I'll be by the end of 2013. This year has been the greatest year of my life, even with my struggles, loss, heartache, and disappointment. I am more motivated to make my future all that it can be!

So Many Changes!

I've had a few people ask about starting a fitness page on Facebook. I've thought about it, but right now with everything going on I'm not sure I'm comfortable starting one. I am hoping that the blog gives everyone enough information and I'm completely open to receiving emails and friend requests on Facebook. 

To those of you who have sent emails and friend requests, thank you! It means the world to begin a friendship with each of you and to talk about such an important transition in your lives!

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With the excitement of the last post and wanting to get something posted for everyone to read, I failed to include EVERY exciting thing that has happened this month.


PCOS Awareness Association
 
So obviously, if you're reading this you know this blog is dedicated to my weight loss journey and struggling with PCOS. I've shared the links to my blog on various different sites including Twitter and Instagram. I had a PCOS related account on IG follow me and start to take notice of my pictures and videos which was nice, and to my surprise I received this email :) 

 

I hope you can read it. Of course, I was so excited! I've always loved to write, especially relate able topics, but this was a whole new level of excitement. I would be writing about what I'm currently facing and what I'm doing to better myself. I could potentially help other women and be a type of support. I also felt a tad bit unsure of myself of course; not knowing if I could provide the information women are looking to receive. I knew that God has placed me int his situation for a reason. I would go with it and give it my all. 

So of course, I submitted my first pieces and have loved the whole interactive site. It's a website that allows you set up a profile and talk to other women with PCOS. Click here to check it out. :) I will be posting every other week on Monday. For the first couple of pieces click here. I encourage you to check out the other 4 women who are writing for the website. We all have different perspective, different ways that we have seen results, but we all have PCOS and the desire to beat it in common. If you're struggling with PCOS, please go set up a profile under the "Our Community" tab to be able to talk with other women and doctors who will be participating in conversations. 

 NON SCALE VICTORY 

There is a sale going on at Old Navy, Banana Republic, and The Gap for 30% off entire order (even clearance) and this past weekend I decided to order some clothes. I don't have a lot of shorts or pants so I wanted to do what I usually don't do: buy brand new clothes while losing weight. I decided to buy half size 14 (current size) and size 12 (will soon be there!). When I went to the Old Navy website, in the menu I clicked on "Women's Plus Size" and of course immediately went to the "Clearance" section. I found some really cute jean shorts and after clicking on them, I became frustrated because my size was listed. The smallest size was 16. I was looking for 14. It took a couple of seconds to realize why my size wasn't available. It wasn't because none of the shorts in that size were available in the clearance section. It was because I am no longer plus size!

This definitely called for an emotional moment. I cried. I hadn't even thought about that mental transition until I ordered clothes. Looking and searching through items without looking for "plus size" really changed my mental state about where I was at and where I can go in just a matter of months.

Recent Progress Picture

October 13, 2012 vs July 23, 2013. 

Sick! :(

So, I wasn't feeling the greatest after a long weekend with my nieces. I thought it was a little throat bug due to allergies and being around more germs (movie theater, water park, etc) from the weekend's activities.

Well, after two days of feeling miserable, I was informed it wasn't strep (everyone's original guess). I actually had a fungi infection on my tonsils and throat region. It was caused from........DAIRY! Yes, most of you know that I'm lactose intolerant, but thought I had found a good balance the past couple of years. I found that yogurt was NOT OKAY for my body and I didn't enjoy milk anyway, but for the past 4 months it's been almond, soy, and coconut milk. But I do still have the occasional ice cream, and I LOVE CHEESE! I always had it in moderation since my life style change. However, this weekend I did notice a bit more cheese intake compared the past couple of weeks when a friend with PCOS mentioned that her specialist told her about limiting dairy to help with acne breakouts.

What do you know? The acne is diminishing (or was until this weekend's dairy intake). So, after some talking with my doctor it looks like a dairy free diet is the best way to go. So, I will be no longer eating cheese :( or.......ice cream.

Yes, I know there are alternatives to both of those options and I plan to research and try new things, but for someone who prided herself in not feeling deprived or cutting something completely out of her diet, this will be a challenge. 

On another note, here are some items that are new to my kitchen that I plan on trying. (I will have to look at the ingredients for the Annies mac and cheese). I've tried the tortillas before but wanted to try some new items. 

Please don't hesitate to email with questions! :) chelsearosen@gmail.com or find me on Facebook by searching "Chelsea Niewald" 

I'm Human

If there is one thing I've learned since Sunday it is: I'm human. 

Monday at about 11, I went to Laura's to do an evening workout! We killed it! Probably one of the most intense workouts from the past couple of weeks. It was great! What wanted us to workout at 11 pm at night wasn't the greatest...

It started with a crazy hectic day and knowing that I would have a stressful and busy day the next day. I was sitting at home with my new interview outfit, watching t.v, and just sitting there. I remember getting in the car and driving. I remember pulling into the parking lot & ordering a mcchicken and a small ice cream cone. Those were two of my favorite things from McDonalds. 

Instead of driving home to eat them, I drove up the street to the Albertson's parking lot. I sat there and slowly ate the items. As I was eating them, my stomach starting hurting, they tasted awful, but I continued to eat. It was the moment I looked at the car next to me to find an older man eating a king size Twix candy bar that I realized I needed to stop. What had I gotten myself into? After eating clean for 5 weeks, I ate a mcchicken and an ice cream cone?! I immediately went home and ended up in the bathroom. I felt awful! All night, I beat myself up. After talking to Aislinn and Laura about it, I knew it stemmed from my interview the next day & the stress of having "too much on my plate". When Laura told me she had a tough day that involved a polish dog and a cake pop, we knew we had to forgive ourselves by finding out what the root of the issues was mentally, and then physically fighting back with a good workout. 

 On Tuesday, I made Indian Tacos my work to celebrate our graduates in the office! Then, I also had my interview for the official position at work.WHOO HOO. 

Aislinn and I went shopping on Monday afternoon, it was fun! :) I haven't seen a huge change in sizes that I'm wearing, it's more about the comfort and how things fit. 

On Wednesday, I forgot my lunch, didn't have anything at work like I normally would, and after work I went straight to Seeley. I was stressed out and just tired! It got to the point where I wasn't hungry, my stomach hurt and it was icky! (yes, I know, it was hungry...). 

Instead of going home and finding some protein, I went to taco bell. Yes, I know...I must not have learned my lesson! Stress, fatigue, poor schedule, and exhaustion are not my friends!!! I immediately got sick again! It's so crazy how our body tells us what it NEEDS! 

So, today I asked Laura to kick my rear in a workout. We worked out harder than we have since we started, it felt great! I also did some grocery shopping. I've said it before; clean eating is VERY expensive, but it's worth it! 

L: May 10, 2012. R: May 11, 2013 Crazy how sick I looked and just unhappy! Love seeing the difference! :) Can't wait to keep going & see soooo much more progress!

  

Tough Days

This is hard. 
It's the hardest thing I have ever had to do. 
It's harder than moving away from home, two states away. 
It's harder than leaving my best friend, my mom to take care of my two sisters while I was selfish and pursued my goals.  
It's harder than a break up, a recent break up. 

It hurts more than the monthly cysts I use to get from my PCOS.

I knew it wouldn't be easy, I knew it would take a lot of hard work, but I never thought it would be this big of a challenge. 

I know I'm doing great and I'm making progress, so I don't focus on the negatives, but there are some days where I CANNOT believe how bad I let this get! I get so mad at myself for allowing my depression, PCOS, and just blindness to take over. 

Today was tough. It was probably the one day in almost 4 weeks where I just didn't want to do anything! I didn't want to take the effort to eat clean or go hike. I didn't want to drink all my water. I wanted to just stay in bed. I know this is probably coming from my depression that I fight WITHOUT anti-depressants, but it's still a weird feeling. 

I want to and WILL make my -15 goal I have, and the drive in me is so deep and strong that my feelings of today really threw me off. 

So what I'm focusing on is: I DID EVERYTHING...even when I didn't want to. I ate great (had pasta for the first time in almost 4 weeks), went for a hike, did squats, and drank LOTS of water. I did it all...even when my mind was saying "Fuck it". 

Tomorrow is my last day to workout before I hit the scale on Saturday. I'm slightly worried about what it will say, but either way, this week I've accomplished a lot mentally and physically. I have done back to back circuits. Yeah, I felt like I was dying in the ccircuits, but I still finished them. Whatever happens Saturday morning, I will feel great :) 

Here are some pictures of today. 

Dinner: Whole wheat, thin pasta with chicken and red sauce, a salad, and corn from the can (I know, I know...but I'm running out of groceries!)

Coming down from the hike. I took a small water break at the switch back and then did 40 squats.

At work. Hair is growing!! :)

Lunch! Turkey burger, a salad with lean turkey on it and good ol water! :D

This is it. This is what I've been thinking about all week. Almost there! :D

  
       

"L"ove Yourself!

Today, cookies and other sweets didn't win. Clean eating won! :) Stuck to the snacks and food I brought to work and drank LOTS of water! :) YAY. 

Today, Laura and I started our workout at the bottom of the "L" in Missoula and we hiked to the "L" then wrapped around the mountain and went down The Hidden Trail and ended up at my house! We believe it right around 4.3 miles or so. LOTS OF CARDIO! :) Hiking has become my get away :) 

Here are so fun pictures. I'm keeping it pretty short today because I'm exhausted and am falling asleep typing!  Excuse my crazy facial expressions...

PROUD

After my fiasco with the three cookies today at work; I was feeling really defeated. I decided to throw on my nikes and hike. I told myself to just give it my all. I found myself talking outloud to motivate me. 

"You want results? This is how!"
"You can do this, you've done it before"

When I reached the first switch back, I decided to do 30 squats and stretch (the second stretch of the hill is always the worst). 

I RAN the second switch back! It felt amazing! I knew that the only way to feel "okay" about the whole cookie issue is if I made up for it in my workout...and I did. Two weeks ago, I would have never been able to run up the second switch back. 

WHOO HOO! Check out the pictures! :)  

At the bottom.

Half way up the second stretch. Ran up, took a break, snapped the picture, & then hit the trail again!

EEEKKK!

So proud of myself

This marks the top!!! :) Took it to send to Laura!

  

My Fuel

There are so many reasons to be healthy & lose weight. Time and time again for the past three years I have had ONE main goal...."skinny". I'm not sure if my naive nature is finally breaking down or what. The thing is, I had this AMAZING "ah ha!" moment almost two weeks ago. 

Being "skinny" doesn't necessarily mean I'll be proud of my body, have children, be able to walk long distances, play with my nieces, or live life to the fullest. The only way to do all of those things and SO much more is by being healthy. 

I've had plenty of stress the past couple of months, from moving out of my apartment and having no where to go but my adopted sisters house in her spare room. Yes, I realize that is more than what most have, but for me it was hard to swallow my pride and allow myself to feel that vulnerable. So with stress of finding a place, then from finding a place and signing a lease within a weeks time; you can say I've been really busy! 

The first week of April I touched base with my friend Laura who created Lets Lose It Together on Facebook. Its a healthy/fitness group where women get advice, share advice, encourage, check in, and ultimately help keep each other accountable. Because Laura lives just a couple minutes from my house in East Missoula she told me about a trail named "The Hidden Trail" in E. Missoula. I agreed to be embarrassed and hike it with her on that Saturday, April 6. 

See, Laura used to be over 200 lbs, I want to say around 240. She lost 85+ lbs by eating right and exercising. Nothing more. So, knowing she hiked this hill and was able to achieve it...I sucked up my embarrassment and hiked it. Being out of shape was an UNDERSTATEMENT! 

While hiking, Laura was next to me the whole time encouraging me. 
"You can do it"
"Just a little bit further"
"If we go to that tree just ahead, we will take a quick break"
"You're one of the most determined people I know"
"You are doing great, remember to breathe correctly"

All of these things she was saying...were COMPLETE opposites of what I was telling myself in my head. Every time I worked out, hiked, anything physical I always talked down to myself. I knew she wasn't going to let me quit, so I decided to encourage myself by just pushing until I absolutely had to stop. Before I know it I was muttering "You can do it." "Just a little bit further". "Wow, see you can do it." 

That was my "ah ha!" moment. Once I started to genuinely believe in myself, I was able to finally see clearly...my abilities and the simple fact that breaking myself down wasn't inspiring me to work harder. It was holding me back. 

So the following day, we hiked it again. Beat our time by almost 20 minutes. Those two days play such a HUGE part of who I am today. Guess what? It's only been a little over a week since then, but for some reason mentally, emotionally, and physically I feel so much wiser and stronger. 

I have been eating clean & have worked out 7 of the 10 days so far. I'm down -6 lbs. I have some pictures that I will post of the hike and of different foods I eat. I encourage you to PLEASE give me your feedback. If you have recipes or suggestions, I'll take them! I feel so uneducated sometimes about nutrition and working out that I'm researching, watching documentaries, and always asking my health conscious friends their thoughts and ideas.

Welcome to the rest of my life. :)