National Eating Disorder Awareness Week

Today starts the week of being aware, educated, and inspired. "Everybody knows somebody" is the theme this year for the National Eating Disorder Awareness Week. 

Do you know someone who struggles with body image/ personal love that leads to an altered/unhealthy relationship with food. Or maybe someone who has an addiction to food that leads to guilt and body issues? 

Me. 

I'm a binge eater. I hear people tell me that it could be worse. I agree, but don't let that fool you to think that I'm healthy and fit all the time. I still struggle every single day with having to make the right choices and not let my emotions and stress/anxiety triggers take over. I know my issues are severely caused by emotional/mental hurdles and I'm making the necessary steps to process. 

My journey started with weight loss, to look and feel healthier. I started with small goals in mind and even a couple of long term goals. I wanted to work toward a body that can lift heavy, keep up with high intense situations, and allow me to do things I've never done. In all of those outward-body related goals, I rejected to make mental hurdles. I feel slightly stunted in my mental/emotional strength. It's a work in progress, every single day. 

Now, my goals is body image and self love. How can we change the way we view ourselves? Do we start with making the rest of the world see us in a different light, or do we simply embrace our bodies and disregard others? Both sound almost impossible. People will think what they want about me and my body. I'm sure when I reach my long term goal, people will have negative things to say, and I'm okay with that. The thing is, I'm not staying constant-I'm striving to evolve daily and become a better version of myself as time continues on. 

We need to STOP pointing out our negatives or flaws. We will always wish and want what we don't have. (That's another topic in itself...to be continued). Instead of hating the bodies we do have, why don't we look ourselves in the mirror (naked if you are willing) focus on three positives (shoulders, length of legs, clear skin) and thank your body for all it has done so far. Now, start by enhancing or focusing on what you like to take it to "the next level". Example: I love my legs. Bigger or not, I love my legs and know that they can be defined and toned. I dedicate 2-3 days a day in the gym focusing on different leg workouts to strengthen and improve them. 

I see so many people say, "If you don't like what you have, change it!". To an extent, I completely agree, because I know it can be done. However, it's a scary thought and sometimes can be too hard to imagine. So, instead of focusing on a negative and working to change it completely; I really like focusing on what I already love and watch "it" change/improve to "wow" myself even more. 

Slowly but surely, you will find it in yourself to trust and love your body enough to change any "problem areas". My stomach is ALWAYS my main concern, but I don't do 3 hours of cardio a day to make it go away. I know that's unrealistic. I work toward lessening my body fat, however, my legs changing and my skin becoming more clear really makes me fall in love with my body overall. 

I hope this gives a small insight to how I slowly started to regain love for my body and the love I found when I realized what I could accomplish by working hard and eating clean, wholesome foods. This is what we should focus on every single day, but I encourage you to try wholeheartedly this week while people are recognized for their recovery, and while others find the strength to reach out for help.

When it comes to food I have a couple of simple tips: 1. Cooke with color! Have fun with food by adding in various colors. 2. Balanced meals should contain lean protein, veggies, complex carbs, fruit, healthy fats. 3. Eat more! When you're eating wholesome, clean food, please do not feel you need to restrict yourself to 1200 calories. Calories cannot measure nutrients! 

Now here's a simple recipe I like to have. It's simple, fast, and delicious.

Chelsea Loves Pasta & Pesto

•  1 cup (or 3/4) of whole wheat or veggie pasta. Cook until ready.
• 1 half skinless chicken breast (season and cook to your liking-I use Mrs. Dash garlic & herb blend). Cut in small pieces before or after cooking.
• Hand full of grape tomatoes, halved. 
• Hand full of spinach.
• 1 tsp of basil pesto.

Mental Health

Binge. Eating "issue". Disorder. Therapy. Count calories. Don't count calories. Just stop already. Struggle. Weak. Uncontrollable. Addicted. Powerless. Triggers. Hopeless. Defeated. Worthless.

Screw that.

I had this thought a few months ago after a McDonald's binge episode that my journey didn't mean as much as those who don't binge. My success and my work wasn't up to par. After all, I was hindering any progress because of the choices I was making in that drive thru.

Bullshit.

I'm this weak creature that doesn't have control over what goes into my body 24/7. I give my all for days, eating clean and feeling great to only throw it away because I can't find the "urge" to say no. 

Ridiculous.

I'm addicted to food. It holds a power over me that sometimes I can't explain.

Accurate.

My head and body don't work together all the time. My body strives for progress and for changes, I feel it getting "bored" when I'm at the same place for too long. My mind tells me I want bad food. It says that fast food or sugar filled processed junk will make me feel better. The stress of work, life, relationships, dealing with death, and trying to have it all together all the time seems to disappear for those few moments that the sandwich, ice cream, candy bar touches my mouth.

I had my first counseling appointment yesterday. I'm sure as the week goes on, I'll piece it together more and more and certain things will stand out, but here is an overview of what I took away from the session and what I plan to keep in the back of my mind this week...just as a start.

• The times of my episodes happen(ed) when stress levels rise. When trauma happens, I give up completely on trying to prevent episodes. I close up and don't sort through the pain and issues. 
• When I feel stressed, I need to take a moment and remember a memory that has an emotional connection. An emotion that I find inspiring. I need to either sit, close my eyes, focus on deep belly filled breathes and place myself in the situation and scenery all over again. Example: the day I ran up the Hidden Trail behind my house in less than 15 minutes instead of walking it in 40 minutes. That feeling I got when I put my hands behind my head, closed my eyes, took deep breathes to give my lungs a little more life, and opened my eyes to see the river, houses, mountains, valley, and trees surrounding myself. The beauty that I found in that moment...a moment that can never be taken away from me.The moment I smiled when tears ran down my face because I was proud of myself.
• In a sense, my anxiety has lessened by a lot, but it has manifested to wanting to over eat. 
• When I want or get the idea to binge, the only thing that stops the thoughts is actually doing it. So, I'm going to try this instead: picture a new goal. A goal that will take a lot of hard work and dedication to accomplish. Something I may think I can't accomplish, but a goal that I have a passion to succeed at. Picture my surrounding, the feeling that could possibly come with it (lets face it, it will probably be 100 times better than what I think). Sit in that moment and realize that binging isn't going to help my goals. 

Some things that became crystal clear as I walked out of the session.

• This is mental. Time to strengthen my spirit, soul, and mind. 
• I'm no less than anyone else on a weight loss journey or living a healthy lifestyle. I'm simply having to focus on different aspects to make it all work. 
• I felt better saying everything out loud.
• I'm excited to challenge myself why being kind to my mind and body.

Have a great Tuesday! Make this week better than last!

Personal Trainer Melt Down

Lets play catch up real quick.

Two or three weeks ago, I got a membership at Missoula Title Boxing Club. I had gone for 3 weeks in November and honestly loved the workouts and the results I saw. I was hooked, so I made the investment. It isn't just the results, it's the desire and passion to get up and go every day...what else could I want?

I decided I wanted to FINALLY jump into the idea/plan of getting a personal trainer. I took classes from almost every trainer at the gym and decided that Rachel would push me yet be someone I could lean on when things seemed to get tough. Support & tough love are a must during this journey. Trust me :) 

Krystal & I after one of first 5:30 am workout classes!

So, I got a trainer, sent her information about me & on Tuesday February February 4 I had my consultation and first session. I hadn't worked out in almost a week and the weekend before was my birthday weekend. I knew I'd struggle because what she was going to have me do was probably stuff I hadn't done before. 

I listened, paid attention, and did work. I laughed, wanted to vomit, winced, pushed a little harder, almost gave up, and soaked in all the information she was giving me during sets. I was drenched in sweat and my body was trembling. I hadn't done weights in weeks (focusing on running time to time and skipping some workouts). It was a great eye opener. Now, what I'm going to explain...has taken me almost a week to TRY to put into words. I don't feel as embarrassed to share it with you because I had a friend tell me that it's completely normal and that she's done it from time to time. And thinking back, I've had this happen before but it smaller magnitudes.

When we finished my training session, my legs were shaking and my heart was racing and I couldn't run out of the building fast enough. I felt this sense of embarrassment but I couldn't figure it out? I was changing my shoes and my body was screaming for me to get out of the building. I needed to be alone. I felt embarrassed, but I kept telling myself 'you just did something that you would have never even thought of doing a few months ago'. I was talking down my mind but my body was screaming at me. Yes, I had just pushed it pretty hard so I was just trying to calm down. When the cold air and snow hit my face, I couldn't stop the tears. I fumbled with my keys, sunk into my car ,and sobbed while my body just shook.

I started my car and Katy Perry's song "Roar" came on and I continued to cry. I mean the kind of cry where there was snot rolling down my face into my mouth, mascara completely ruined, and abs hurting crying. Once I wiped my eyes dry, I started laughing. About absolutely nothing. After about 20 minutes of sitting in my car, I drove home. I had to remind myself to pay attention to what I was doing because I found myself going "blank" every couple of minutes. I was exhausted in ALL aspects. 

I thought I was having a break down, and felt SOOO silly but after thinking about it; I think it comes down to three things. 

1. What I'm doing in my life to better myself is VERY spiritual and emotional. I'm becoming in-tune with parts of my body, soul, and mind that I never knew existed. I'm learning something new about myself every single day. After almost a year, I'm still about to surprise myself every single day and that's the most gratifying and rewarding feeling ever.
2. I've started another Point A. I always LOVE tracking my progress by pictures and small goals and reaching them. I've put another "Point A" on my map. I've started a VERY big chapter by adding in more strength and having advice and support from a professional. I can ONLY become better from here on out! 
3. I am proud. I'm becoming the person I want and know I can be. I am proud that I'm able to push a little harder and that I can ignore that voice in my head that tells me to give up. I worked past that voice that day and my body realized that it's capable of so much more than my mind knows!

"Goals to Meet & Records to Break"

With my success of running on Friday and my emotional/mental victory I felt like a new woman! I knew my weekend would be very relaxed and full of activity to ensure that I "meet my goals and break records". 

Saturday was rest day! Boo ya! 

On Sunday, my friend Krystal and I went to my gym and had a 2 hour session of a full body workout. We did a 30 minute circuit ranging from burpees, squats, weighted squats, arm (focusing on triceps), and donkey kicks. Then, we spent a good hour on different machines focusing on legs and arms. We did 15 of the the heaviest weight we could tolerate, then 10 of the weight below X3. Then, we got on the treadmill but my shins were on fire, so I spent 20+minutes on the stair stepper while Krystal did intervals on the treadmill. We finished with 10 minutes in the sauna. Boy, did I feel it this morning! 

 This morning, (Monday-three day weekend!) I made 2 eggs with 7 grain oats (oatmeal) with a half a frozen banana and some dark chocolate peanut butter in it for some fuel before I headed to the gym. Once I got to the gym, I decided that no matter what I would be doing 40+ minutes on the treadmill. Once again, the shin splints came back. I decided to increase the incline and decrease the running speed so that it was a constant jog or power walk. I felt pretty good! I got to the point of realizing it didn't matter if I couldn't run, as long as I was sweating! I am looking into actual running shoes that are for my type of feet (I think some extra arch support while running will help). 

Morning Workout.

 I went home and put a whole chicken in my crock pot so I could have some delicious chicken for the week & had lunch. It was so beautiful out, I'm limiting how I describe the beauty because it's the end of January and it's like it's April out...I don't want to jinx it!

Haha. Anyway, I told myself I would go back to the gym to do weights but realized I was pretty sore from the day before and I didn't want to be inside. I headed out to the Hidden Trail behind my house! It's the trail/mountain that started it ALL! 

It was the first workout I did on April 6 and it was a "beast" that I had to battle time and time again. I found determination and passion on that trail and it's why I am the the person today! My first hike, it took me nearly 45 minutes to hike up the trail because of having to stop and having an anxiety attack every 10 minutes because I was telling myself I couldn't do it. Today, I ran up the trail in less than 15 minutes. I stopped, enjoyed the view, and did some stretching before I made my way back down. How amazing? I'm not going to talk about how out of shape I was or how sad I was 70+ lbs ago, because I'm so damn proud of what I did that day. I didn't give up and I kept going back. I'm only getting better! 

Tomorrow starts another work week, but I'm positive I'll make it to the gym each night like I did this last week. I'm so excited to see my transformation and journey continue. I've felt in a rut for months, still making small steps, but the reality is...this is life. I won't reach a goal weight and stay there just because. I will have to work at this for the rest of my life, but the differance between who I was months ago and who I am today, I'm okay with that! I'm excited to live a healthy life for years to come and find myself "surprised" by accomplishments I make each day. I always say that you need to surprise yourself in order to see change and progress! 

Have a fab week everyone, will update soon! 

Running Accomplishments & Finding Help

On Tuesday, I started to focus on running. I told a friend I would be running with her this year, and I made a promise to honor my friend/brother, Mamoru who is no longer with us on earth. He was one of my biggest supporters during my lifestyle change and in my everyday life, and I'm dedicating everything I do to "surprise myself" in his name. Every run, hike, milestone, accomplishment will have his name behind it. 

So, I started the week on Tuesday running 2 miles. I wasn't going for time, I just made sure I could run/walk do intervals for 2 miles. In different intervals I did 2 miles in 31:12. On Wednesday, I decided to go to 2.5 no matter what, but I wanted to see if I could beat my 2 mile mark and I also timed my first mile. I did a mile in 14:38 & beat my 2 mile time by 1:54. On Thursday, I decided to focus more on my arms. I did a circuit & then simply did a cool down walk at an incline. On Friday, I told myself that I wanted to beat my time of my mile of 14:38 because that wasn't good enough for me. I ran my warm up mile in 12:30 which shaved 2:08 off the previous one. Once I took the picture of the time, I thought to myself, 'you should run a 5k, see how it feels'. I hadn't ran/walked/jogged a 5k since October and I wasn't in shape like I was in October. I continued to run another 2.1 miles in 27:59. I had ran a 5k in 40.29. Is that good? It is for me!

I found myself sprinting at the end and hearing this voice in my head say, "You can do this, your lungs are fine, look ahead and run!" When I looked down and saw 2.09 I knew I did it. When I hit that stop button and put my hands on my head to continue my breathing, I started to cry while I was smiling. I had this sense of freedom from the thoughts of 'wow, a 5k the first week you're running, really?' or 'you should ease into this, take it slow'. I came back to the treadmill with the disinfectant spray and rag to wipe it down when the gentlemen next to me got my attention and extended his fist to congratulate me on my win against the voices in my head. 

With yesterdays win, I kept thinking of Mamoru and trying to wrap my head around that I will never feel his hugs or get a phone call from him. I had a friend say "Breathing feels weird when you miss someone so much". It's true. I sat on my couch last night, wrap up in a blanket, staring at his phone number in my phone, sobbing until I couldn't breathe. I let every emotion over-power my mental strength and I just cried until I had to gasp for air. What happened next, I know was a sign. I went to the bathroom to grab tissue and I stopped at the fridge, opened it, starred at the box of pizza my boyfriend ordered earlier and stood there until my eyes were dry. I watched myself grab the box and eat the entire content. I also saw myself crying, again after the binge. I closed the fridge and knew that it was my way of telling myself that the binge I was longing for wouldn't fix the emotional pain I was experiencing. 

What did I do? I drank another 24 oz of water and crawled in bed, said my prayers, and had a dream of running a marathon. All day I kept seeing that scenario play in my head and how it actually played out and I felt a sense of freedom and accomplishment. I made the decision that I will be seeing a counselor when school starts. There is a program on campus for students to discuss any eating issues. I need to focus on mental strength and knowing that I don't need to binge to overcome something painful. It's only harming me in another form.Running has been a saving grace for me this week. I am actually really excited to continue this journey. Of course, I'm still lifting and focusing on my overall goals, but I already see some definition in my stomach area that wasn't there on Tuesday and my legs seem stronger as well. Every time I've ran this week, I've felt a sense of relief or a wall break down; even relating to stresses at work, they seem to disappear and I'm able to mentally process the issues. Between seeing a counselor and running, I've got a pretty great therapy plan, I think. 

Today was my rest day, but I'm off to crawl into bed to prepare for a 2 hour workout with my good friend, Krystal at my gym in the morning. I'm excited to share with her some of my normal routine and just get some more exercise in. I'm feeling better than ever. 

xoxo

 

Running.

I'm not a runner. At all. I used to run outside during the summer and would run a mile and time it. I never did distance, just timed runs. I made a promise in honor my friend/brother, Mamoru to run at least 5- 5K's within a year, because he was my biggest supporter. I'm going to run in the name of depression and suicide. 

I met a new friend, Krystal and she is way more of a runner than I am so, I found someone I can participate in 5K's with! YAY! I'm taking this year seriously when it comes to running. I'm battling with myself mentally, because I love weights, I LOVE lifting! Will all the running ruin muscle gain or progress? I've done research and there's conflicting information...just like everything else out there! 

I've decided that I will run strictly 3xs a week and lift with light cardio 3xs a week and hope that I find a balance. I did my first long distance run today with intervals of speeds and a couple of inclines to strengthen my endurance. Of course, this schedule won't be every single week because I plan to add in boxing again and other workouts, but I'm hoping to really stick to this in order to run 5k's and of course BLOOMSDAY!!!! 

Today was the first day of longer distance. Tomorrow, I plan on getting to 2.5 miles within or just shortly longer than today's time! 

 I'm also LOVING my Spark energy mix! Talk about awesome stuff. I know it was a big reason why I actually ran for 30 minutes instead of just walking.

I'm Back! Stronger than Ever.

Do you know what happens when you chose to not workout for a month? Your endurance becomes close to nothing. Your muscles are extremely sore after 10 minutes. You feel like you’re starting all over again. Most important, you discover a new-found love and passion again for your health and body.

On Dec, 26, as promised I got back on track after the crazy month of holidays. I got back in the gym and killed myself. I found myself struggling and gasping for air. It was tough, emotionally. I used to lift heavier, go faster, keep up, and feel my body changing. Now, I’m starting from the beginning again, pacing myself, and listening to my body scream, “What have you done?!” How frustrating? I absolutely put myself in this position. I chose to not workout for a month and to eat poorly.

However, I don’t regret it. The past two days in the gym; I feel in love. I felt myself break down mentally and have to push harder and because I completed all reps and upped my weights, I fell in love with myself again. I was so fearful that I had let go or given up. But knowing I haven’t…gives me the hope that this lifestyle is working and sticking. I’ve never discovered myself until I changed my lifestyle. I had no purpose in my life…I was just living. It took me to push, trust, love, and motivate myself before I knew my worth as a person and child of God. 

I had a great time working out with my friend, Tiffany! She came a hour from home to visit me and workout with me. How lucky am I to have such fantastic friends? I had such a great time being back home in Keller with friends and family. I found that being home with my family for both Thanksgiving and Christmas helped my depression. I haven’t been home in two years for Christmas and I’m so glad I came home. I know I’m more prone being depressed during the winter months, but having 6 days being home with my family, next to the wood stove, and something familiar and comfortable really helped me realize that I can always come home.  

Me, Nana, & Momma the morning I left.

So now, I’m back home in Missoula from being at home for 6 days and it’s time to get back into a routine. I’m so excited to push myself and really earn a reward of a tattoo on January 29 for my 22^nd birthday.

I’m so excited to embrace this new phase in my journey. This was needed. The past 4 weeks was necessary for me to feel like I am right now, in this moment. I wouldn’t change the way I walk through this journey for anything. I am learning to embrace each day and each new lesson so I can become this, new and improved Chelsea that has the world at my fingertips.

I can’t express how much a person’s soul can change when they challenge and surprise themselves. If you ever want to doubt yourself, stop and challenge yourself to think and act differently. You’ll never regret it. I promise it.

Pause or Plateau? Exhausted or Excuses?

I have discovered this new "phase"...yes, lets call it a "phase". Phases end, right? Anyway, this new phase began as an innocent weekend of fun with friends. You know, bars, bad food and even worse breakfast food the next day. I told myself: 1. You don't go out a lot so you deserve to have fun. 2. You won't gain all the weight back in a weekend, you're 21, so don't act like you're 80. I had a great weekend with friends, especially my best friend who came into town from Iowa.

The following week was the week I left on Wed for Washington to spend time with family for Thanksgiving. I refused to buy groceries to put in my house to have most of them go to waste. (I haven't learned how to buy less than 7 days worth of food). 

Before & During.

Just like everyone else who celebrate holidays, I continued to make poor choices when it came to food. It wasn't completely horrible, but definitely not as clean as it should have been. I told myself that life is about adjusting and not worrying during a time that's supposed to be happy and filled with memories. 

Progress is progress. No matter what.

To be completely honest, I had a hard time staying on track because I've been struggling financially; along with the rest of America, I'm sure. I know it isn't impossible to eat clean or make smart choices on a low budget, but I didn't take the necessary steps like meal prepping or planning meals. 

I've had a couple of victories through the last 3 weeks. I've learned a lot about what I care about and what no longer takes up my concentration and focus. 

I can eat bad food in front of people, instead of binging. 
I know that my body responds better to clean food. 
Alcohol makes my stomach hurt; the sugar content in some drinks puts me in so much pain.
Too much bread in a week causes for major bloat and gluten belly. 
I no longer care about the scale; I measure success by visual improvements and clothes. 
My confidence was still high; even without working out and eating clean.  

I'm excited to continue this beautiful journey. My soul has transformed so much; there's no way I'll be stopping, ever. 

New "before" pictures. Next pictures will be on my 22nd birthday.

 I'm now working toward feeling AMAZING on my 22nd birthday! I know the past 3 weeks have put me back a little, but I am going to work hard to feel AMAZING on my birthday. Last year, I didn't take a full body shot photo because I was so embarrassed; no more of that!

New hair. Love going red! :)

Too Much Passion?

If you're reading this you're either subscribed or you saw me post the link on my personal Facebook page. 

I want to start by addressing something that I'm sure many of you have thought or mentioned to your friends. 

You're annoyed at all the fitness related posts on my personal facebook page, right? My check-ins at the gym, motivational/inspiring pictures found off Pinterest, my progress pictures, talking about how much I love my new workout routine, or tagging all my friends about a FREE boxing class here in town.

I totally get it. When fitness/healthy eating was the last thing on my mind, it annoyed the crap out of me too. I hated it. But guess what? Every person I knew in that journey and who posted about it, inspired me in one way or another. They gave me ideas of different workouts, possiblibities, and their positivity was this "thing" I wanted to be a part of. I was just too lazy and not ready to start my own journey. 

I really have tried to downsize the amount of fitness related posts I post on Facebook. I try to stick to my Instagram (there's no way I'll ever downsize that, so get to stepping if you don't like that!). I enjoy facebook because a lot of friends and family from all over the world is on there and that's how we all know what's going on in one another lives.

While I will continue to not post as many fitness related posts, you have to understand one thing: I'm passionate. It's my life now. This isn't just a month or two where I want to "lose 5 pounds and tone up". This way of life is MY LIFE. I thrive and my happiness comes from my workouts, my clean eating, and making friends with the same common goals and interest. My support group here in Missoula, my friends who go to boxing classes with me or to the gym, they are a large part of my life. They are supporting me in my efforts to see what I really can do with my life. We support one another. So, I really don't want to say "if you don't like it, unfriend me", but the reality is...I will post about my life, and my life is different than it was a year ago. I would hope that my true friends and family would like to see me evolve and morph into this better version of myself. 

Those of you who tell me how great it is to see me posting about it and inspiring you, thank you for reminding me that sometimes when you better yourself, there's a chain reaction for those around you. I appreciate you & love you for that. 

Now, moving on to th fun/challenging week that I had.

If you haven't noticed by my facebook or Instagram posts, I FREAKING LOVE BOXING!!! I go to Title Boxing Club in Missoula & have been lucky to attend the past couple of weeks on a free 2 free week voucher I got for running in the Diva Dash a few months back. I'm not competing to hopefully get a 3 free month membership by donating a lot of canned food items. 

The workout is called "Power Hour" and it's exactly a hour with 15 minute "warm up" which makes you want to slightly dry heave or die. Then there are 8 rounds of 3 minute sessions on the bag focusing on combos, speed, power, etc. Then the last 15 minutes is your ab/core workout. My first time was intimidating but positive, and now I'm addicted. I love the full body workout you get, the staff, and the results! I burn over 700 calories per hour at the classes, which is unbelievable! 

Here is a picture of just 10 days between each side. I did my fasted cardio 3 times a week and then adding more boxing into the mix. 

November 1-November 11.

I'm hoping to continue to take advantage of free classes or hopefully win a free 3 month membership! :) It's a little out of my budget right now, but if I am able to buy a few months down after the new year, I definately will. 

The ladies I go to boxing with our some of my favorites. Having met new friends through this sport, I'm so thankful! 

This week I did take 2 rest days, back to back which isn't like me but I took my normal rest day on Tuesday and then Wednesday I came home and had a mental/emotional breakdown. I just feel like I've focused so much on work, my workouts, and meal prepping that I am completely scattered at home. So, I stayed home and got things in order and plan on finishing some house cleaning and organizing today. 

On Thursday, I went to the Women's Club here in Missoula with Alesha, just to try it out as her guest for a week. It was a great workout and again, meeting a new friend, Rachel was great! I'm so excited to continue to workout with these ladies and motivate one another. I've used Instagram for so long and the Facebook group made by Amber and I, that I forgot that if you look hard enough, you can find some awesome people right where you are!

I hope you have a great weekend, and stay active! This week and weekend I'm going HARD because my best friend, Chelsea is coming to town & I want to go out and have a good time! I'm already excited about staying motivated during my break for Thanksgiving and going home. Already have some workout buddies planned back home! 

XOXO

NOVEMBER! New Month, New Goals!

November 1st? Where has the last year gone? It's amazing how much can change and how much a person can improve themselves in such a short amount of time! I don't even miss the person I was last year! Anyway, lets focus on THIS MONTH! The last 7-10 days were tough for me. I was in a funk mentally, and I think a part of it was being homesick. For some reason, seeing November on the calendars made me realize that I will see my family on Thanksgiving, and it will come soon! I decided to start this month NEW, REFRESHED, & READY to kick some butt. 

A couple days before the end of October, I got some exciting, motivating, and incredible news. I got some blood work done a couple weeks ago for a Wellness Check through my job. I requested to have pretty much a full panel done, especially on my glucose and A1C numbers. The past 6 years, my A1C number has been a 7.5-7.8 on a scale of 4.0-6.0. When I recieved my lab work back, my results for my A1C was 5.0!! This was the push and affirmation I needed that what I am doing is working for MY BODY! 

I have some November goals in mind and I'm so excited to reach them! Here are my November Goals. (If this is the first time you're seeing goals like these, I encourage you to make some for yourself! Every month focus on these 3-7 things you want to accomplish! They can be as little or as big as you choose).

Let me break them down a little. Especially the first one. "2 a days" or 2 workouts in one day. The first workout is fasted cardio; I will wake up and immidately change into workout gear and head to the gym (the cold air and soon to be snow on the ground isn't appealing to me at 6:30 in the morning). Check out the link for info on fasted cardio. After I get off work, I will go home, eat dinner and head back to the gym for weights and and more cardio! I did my first day of fasted cardio this morning and it was a great success so far! I'm excited to go home "carb up" and head to the gym for an intense workout session! My fasted cardio was 30 minutes on the eliptical and I burned over 300 calories (for those of you who love to count).

My plan this month to really challenge myself is to do this 4 consecutive days in a row. Monday-Tuesday! One the other 3 days, I will do one workout, on my rest day I will most likely do yoga or a light walk. I feel like my eating is on point a lot of the time and my workouts have been the same since about August so I'm trying to shock my body a little and try something new.

Meal prepping has become something the last few weeks that I enjoy and look forward to (WHO KNEW!) See...what we learn when we try new things, come on people! 
 

Did you know that Jillian  Michaels (MY FITSPO) has PCOS?

I also have taken full body progress pictures from all angles so I can compare how this month of a higher intensity of workouts do for my body. I can't wait to take a picture with my family and compare it against last year's thanksgiving photo! 

Yesterday, my office dressed up as duck dynasty/duck commanders. It was fun to see the kids come to the office and get toys and for people to look at us with our gross looking beards! 

 The best part is documenting this journey. I'm so shocked at the smallest changes, and how much better I feel after a long day by looking at a comparison picture. For me, it isn't because I look skinny or fit. My confidence and my smile is real! I look and gleam HEALTH! Where before, I was empty. 

Here's a little comparison picture of halloween 2011 vs 2013. 2011 wasn't even my heaviest weight!


I hope each one of you embrace a new month and work hard for the progress YOU WANT! I'm so motivated and excited to see where I'll be by the end of 2013. This year has been the greatest year of my life, even with my struggles, loss, heartache, and disappointment. I am more motivated to make my future all that it can be!

Accomplishments, Balance, & Celebrations. The ABC's of Success!

Whoa. That title makes it sound like this is going to give you all the answers about weight loss and how to make a life changing journey.... I wish that was exactly what I could give you. Instead, I'll talk about some of those in my life that has taken place this last week! 

On Tuesday, the UM Staff Senate had a FREE Power Hour at Title Boxing Club for all UM Employees. I was excited to try kickboxing for the first time and actually take a group class again. I was warned ahead of time by one of the workers about how my heart rate would go up and that the workout and first 15 minutes would be the hardest part. I understood that kickboxing would be a challenge, but for a split second I was intimidated and I was considering leaving. I stuck it out. I kept up & was sweating harder than I ever have before. It was tough. A whole hour that felt like 2 hours. I learned so much & walked away feeling strong and powerful. 

Such a hard workout!

Had so much fun! 

On Thursday, it was the one day I've been waiting for the past 4 months!!! MACKLEMORE & RYAN LEWIS in Missoula! I have been working my tail off so I could feel awesome in the outfit I wore to the concert! I had a tough time shopping for the outfit because I didn't know what I wanted to "look" like. I finally landed on the idea of skinny jeans, boots, and a nice flowy top. I didn't get a full body picture but I felt AMAZING and I was so happy! I enjoyed the concert so much & it was worth the hard work and dedication. Macklemore & Ryan Lewis put on the BEST show I've ever been to! I danced the night away! 

Me & Alesha!

Karla, Me, & Aislinn

This weekend I decided to have some fun! I didn't eat that well and didn't workout, but I had fun and my soul needed some friend time and no stresses! I didn't do horribly, but I could have done better! The best part? I keep looking at myself in windows or in pictures and am amazed at how far I've come and I know I could never let myself go again. 

So, since tonight is Sunday night I did some grocery shopping & wanted to share some ideas! I found some dark chocolate almond milk (sweetened) and compared it to my normal unsweetened almond milk. I posted it on IG and so many people started bashing on the sugar content. I agree, it is higher...but it's not as high as most chocolate milks out there. Plus, my sugar in take is VERY low (natural sources only) so the fact that I will only add splashes of it on occasion in my smoothies. I took a couple sips and enjoyed it! 

Here is some meal prep ideas! Click here for the full recipes! 

Egg Muffins

Red Potatoes

Crock Pot Chicken "Fajitas"

Find a Balance

What Brings You Peace?

If there is one thing that I've found most important during this whole journey is to find a balance. Not just pertaining to exercise or food. You need to have a balanced life, I know, easier said than done. It takes a lot of practice and sometimes it feels like a big FAILURE but other times you feel such peace that you are reminded why you started this crazy journey. 

I am a Christian, I'm sure you have all picked up on that if you've been following my posts. I was raised with my Native American traditions passed down from my great grandmother, but I was also raised in a small church. When I was a teenager, I attended a church camp for 7 years and it was a big part of my faith and identity as a Christian. 

So, when it comes to finding a balance it's important that you take time and turn to an area in your life that heals, rejuvenates, and motivates your spirit. If you are Catholic, Buddhist, Muslim, Christian, or if religion is something that you may not lean toward, find something. When I am home or am able to go to a Pow-Wow or sit with an elder, I always feel at "home" and peaceful. It's a large part of who I am and it puts my life into perspective. I am also reminded of the traditions I hold close and it reminds me to stay connected to that part of my life, even away from the reservation. 

Comparison Picture.

So many of us find losing weight is difficult and all your time and energy is spent in the kitchen or at the gym. Yes, that is a majority of it, but if you're not taking time to really find inner peace and balance, all your hard work can go unnoticed or your progress can be delayed because you're not in a "right mind". I highly encourage you to reach out to a friend, group, or organization that brings you happiness. 

I spent the weekend at a women's retreat and I found myself not focusing on my weight or what to eat next. Yes, we ate meals and there were options of bad and healthy food, and I felt amazing when I had healthy food on my plate but also allowed myself to eat a donut hole. I didn't fret because I was in a positive mind set. I knew that all my hard work the past 7 months wouldn't be rouined with a donut hole. I also reminded myself of the simple fact: this journey is to prepare us for the future. 

Everyone says to take it one day at a time. Yes, that's so true; you can become very overwhelmed. But there comes a day, and I promise you, it will come; you aren't just focusing on the hour you're in, you aren't worried about the decisions you're making that second. You look to tomorrow, aware of what challenges come and you have such confidence to get through anything thrown your way. That's when you know this challenge has become a lifestyle. 

October 21, 2013. Meal prep for work & an update picture.

 Be confident in your ability to change your life. You can spend days and hours talking yourself down and talking yourself out of a decision, but you're only hurting yourself. Stop holding yourself back, lift your spirit and mind higher than you ever imagined; progress will take place. You may not like your body, but until you accept it and realize that changes can be done, you will always be stuck where you are. Accept it, look at it, touch it, know what you're working with and start the improvements. Once you see progress, you will fall in love with your imperfect body. Remember, we all have imperfect bodies, it's how we fall in love with them each day that makes us successful. 

Wishing you peace, acceptance, joy, and understanding in this crazy journey. Lean on me, ask questions, find someone who you can be accountable to, and never give up.

xoxo