Find a Balance

What Brings You Peace?

If there is one thing that I've found most important during this whole journey is to find a balance. Not just pertaining to exercise or food. You need to have a balanced life, I know, easier said than done. It takes a lot of practice and sometimes it feels like a big FAILURE but other times you feel such peace that you are reminded why you started this crazy journey. 

I am a Christian, I'm sure you have all picked up on that if you've been following my posts. I was raised with my Native American traditions passed down from my great grandmother, but I was also raised in a small church. When I was a teenager, I attended a church camp for 7 years and it was a big part of my faith and identity as a Christian. 

So, when it comes to finding a balance it's important that you take time and turn to an area in your life that heals, rejuvenates, and motivates your spirit. If you are Catholic, Buddhist, Muslim, Christian, or if religion is something that you may not lean toward, find something. When I am home or am able to go to a Pow-Wow or sit with an elder, I always feel at "home" and peaceful. It's a large part of who I am and it puts my life into perspective. I am also reminded of the traditions I hold close and it reminds me to stay connected to that part of my life, even away from the reservation. 

Comparison Picture.

So many of us find losing weight is difficult and all your time and energy is spent in the kitchen or at the gym. Yes, that is a majority of it, but if you're not taking time to really find inner peace and balance, all your hard work can go unnoticed or your progress can be delayed because you're not in a "right mind". I highly encourage you to reach out to a friend, group, or organization that brings you happiness. 

I spent the weekend at a women's retreat and I found myself not focusing on my weight or what to eat next. Yes, we ate meals and there were options of bad and healthy food, and I felt amazing when I had healthy food on my plate but also allowed myself to eat a donut hole. I didn't fret because I was in a positive mind set. I knew that all my hard work the past 7 months wouldn't be rouined with a donut hole. I also reminded myself of the simple fact: this journey is to prepare us for the future. 

Everyone says to take it one day at a time. Yes, that's so true; you can become very overwhelmed. But there comes a day, and I promise you, it will come; you aren't just focusing on the hour you're in, you aren't worried about the decisions you're making that second. You look to tomorrow, aware of what challenges come and you have such confidence to get through anything thrown your way. That's when you know this challenge has become a lifestyle. 

October 21, 2013. Meal prep for work & an update picture.

 Be confident in your ability to change your life. You can spend days and hours talking yourself down and talking yourself out of a decision, but you're only hurting yourself. Stop holding yourself back, lift your spirit and mind higher than you ever imagined; progress will take place. You may not like your body, but until you accept it and realize that changes can be done, you will always be stuck where you are. Accept it, look at it, touch it, know what you're working with and start the improvements. Once you see progress, you will fall in love with your imperfect body. Remember, we all have imperfect bodies, it's how we fall in love with them each day that makes us successful. 

Wishing you peace, acceptance, joy, and understanding in this crazy journey. Lean on me, ask questions, find someone who you can be accountable to, and never give up.

xoxo

Body Reservations

If you follow me on Instagram, you probably have seen a lot of my skin. Haha. My Instagram was originally just a personal account for random pictures and selfies, but 3 months ago I decided to use it as a way to document my progress and struggles. It helps keep me accountable and allows me to be inspired by others that I follow. 

It was really hard for me to post my first "before" picture and show the world how big I really had gotten. But with supportive followers, growing self confidence, and having pictures to show progress I was able to face the world. 

I have had a lot of people comment "wow, you're so brave to post this picture", "you go girl, no many people can share their body when they don't like it", "you're so inspiring to embrace what you're doing fully". 

Guess what? I'm not brave. I'm doing what I have to do to remind myself how far I've come and that I DO have what it takes to reach my goals. There was a day where I lifted my shirt and saw a difference from back in April and all reservations about my "fat" body was gone. I had improved a lot for 3 months. I was proud of that. Every 208 lbs of it, I was proud because I had come a long way since 242. 

So, in honor of not having reservation about my body, I posted my second "bare skin" picture yesterday on Instagram. Since I shared the 30 day challenge with you, I figured I would post a before picture. Here is my "before" on July 1, 2013.

 Can you believe that I'm proud of that?!?

I already know that my "after" picture is going to show progress at the end of the month and I'm so excited. 

Yesterday was day 2 of the challenge! I haven't been doing situps since I started working out because I always thought of them as "useless". I do know that I'm feeling the small amount I've done in my abs so that's good. I just have to remember to use correct form so my back and neck aren't strained.

After my workout :)

Now, I want to touch base on something that is a bit more "personal". It isn't directed toward any one person, however I'm sure a few people will be able to relate and hopefully understand my mental state. 

Now, I know how annoying it can be for friends and family when someone they know goes on a "health kick". I know that I can only talk about fitness for the majority of conversations. When people ask me "what's new?" My response, "Oh nothing, just working out, working on my time for my mile run, doing strength training circuits, managing macros". But for those of you who are annoyed by your "health kick" friends, here is something to understand: a schedule is put in place when someone is serious about their health. Partying and lounging around isn't a main priority. My days are very much a like (with of course the events of hanging out with friends or doing stuff around town to get out of the house). I get joy and excitement out of doing a new workout and pushing my body to a new goal. But, with my 9-5:30 office job, working out, meal prepping, and making sure I have a somewhat organized house I don't do much unless it's on the weekends. I like investing in myself during everyday of the week. 

By investing in myself it also means that I don't put myself in a situation where I'm encouraged or pressured into going out to dinner a few times a week or having a drink every single night. I know what my body needs and wants and for me to reach my goals, all of those "luxuries" are very limited. I don't deprive myself by any means but I also don't indulge every night so then I'm feeling horrible and it takes twice the time to make a goal I've put in front of me.

I knew that by changing my interests, goals, and priorities I would most likely either lose or distance myself from friends. At first I thought it wouldn't happen, but then I found that for certain occasions, it might be necessary. Now, I know that my "real" friends will understand and support me, but it doesn't make the decision any less hard for me. I know people probably think that I'm judging them because they decide to get a fat hamburger with fries while I order a garden salad and low carb pasta. 

Guess what?! I don't judge anyone by their eating habits. The only time I will argue and maybe make any kind of comment is when someone says they can eat anything and everything and still be thin. People may think that and bless their fast metabolism, but just because you aren't getting "fat" doesn't mean that your body is being nourished properly.  

The truth is, I'm focusing on JUST ME! I don't take the time to worry about others and what they eat unless they reach out and would like ideas, advice, or help. I'm not doing this to know more, or be better than anyone but who I was 3 months ago. 

So, with that being said, I want to apologize to anyone who has felt or maybe that I made them feel that way. I'm changing a lot and I do have different interests. I will occasionally go out to meet up with friends for a drink or maybe dinner, but it won't be something I can or will do a lot of the time. If anyone wants to go hiking or running, or even workout together, just let me know! I'm finding myself so interested in physical activities that I won't turn them down!

Now, I found this little quote online yesterday and even though I'd like to think I don't have haters, here is a reminder for those of us who sometimes feel that there are people are just can't seem to get over their issues when it comes to YOU or others around you!