Body Reservations

If you follow me on Instagram, you probably have seen a lot of my skin. Haha. My Instagram was originally just a personal account for random pictures and selfies, but 3 months ago I decided to use it as a way to document my progress and struggles. It helps keep me accountable and allows me to be inspired by others that I follow. 

It was really hard for me to post my first "before" picture and show the world how big I really had gotten. But with supportive followers, growing self confidence, and having pictures to show progress I was able to face the world. 

I have had a lot of people comment "wow, you're so brave to post this picture", "you go girl, no many people can share their body when they don't like it", "you're so inspiring to embrace what you're doing fully". 

Guess what? I'm not brave. I'm doing what I have to do to remind myself how far I've come and that I DO have what it takes to reach my goals. There was a day where I lifted my shirt and saw a difference from back in April and all reservations about my "fat" body was gone. I had improved a lot for 3 months. I was proud of that. Every 208 lbs of it, I was proud because I had come a long way since 242. 

So, in honor of not having reservation about my body, I posted my second "bare skin" picture yesterday on Instagram. Since I shared the 30 day challenge with you, I figured I would post a before picture. Here is my "before" on July 1, 2013.

 Can you believe that I'm proud of that?!?

I already know that my "after" picture is going to show progress at the end of the month and I'm so excited. 

Yesterday was day 2 of the challenge! I haven't been doing situps since I started working out because I always thought of them as "useless". I do know that I'm feeling the small amount I've done in my abs so that's good. I just have to remember to use correct form so my back and neck aren't strained.

After my workout :)

Now, I want to touch base on something that is a bit more "personal". It isn't directed toward any one person, however I'm sure a few people will be able to relate and hopefully understand my mental state. 

Now, I know how annoying it can be for friends and family when someone they know goes on a "health kick". I know that I can only talk about fitness for the majority of conversations. When people ask me "what's new?" My response, "Oh nothing, just working out, working on my time for my mile run, doing strength training circuits, managing macros". But for those of you who are annoyed by your "health kick" friends, here is something to understand: a schedule is put in place when someone is serious about their health. Partying and lounging around isn't a main priority. My days are very much a like (with of course the events of hanging out with friends or doing stuff around town to get out of the house). I get joy and excitement out of doing a new workout and pushing my body to a new goal. But, with my 9-5:30 office job, working out, meal prepping, and making sure I have a somewhat organized house I don't do much unless it's on the weekends. I like investing in myself during everyday of the week. 

By investing in myself it also means that I don't put myself in a situation where I'm encouraged or pressured into going out to dinner a few times a week or having a drink every single night. I know what my body needs and wants and for me to reach my goals, all of those "luxuries" are very limited. I don't deprive myself by any means but I also don't indulge every night so then I'm feeling horrible and it takes twice the time to make a goal I've put in front of me.

I knew that by changing my interests, goals, and priorities I would most likely either lose or distance myself from friends. At first I thought it wouldn't happen, but then I found that for certain occasions, it might be necessary. Now, I know that my "real" friends will understand and support me, but it doesn't make the decision any less hard for me. I know people probably think that I'm judging them because they decide to get a fat hamburger with fries while I order a garden salad and low carb pasta. 

Guess what?! I don't judge anyone by their eating habits. The only time I will argue and maybe make any kind of comment is when someone says they can eat anything and everything and still be thin. People may think that and bless their fast metabolism, but just because you aren't getting "fat" doesn't mean that your body is being nourished properly.  

The truth is, I'm focusing on JUST ME! I don't take the time to worry about others and what they eat unless they reach out and would like ideas, advice, or help. I'm not doing this to know more, or be better than anyone but who I was 3 months ago. 

So, with that being said, I want to apologize to anyone who has felt or maybe that I made them feel that way. I'm changing a lot and I do have different interests. I will occasionally go out to meet up with friends for a drink or maybe dinner, but it won't be something I can or will do a lot of the time. If anyone wants to go hiking or running, or even workout together, just let me know! I'm finding myself so interested in physical activities that I won't turn them down!

Now, I found this little quote online yesterday and even though I'd like to think I don't have haters, here is a reminder for those of us who sometimes feel that there are people are just can't seem to get over their issues when it comes to YOU or others around you!

Happy Happy Happy!

First off: I GOT THE JOB!!!!!! I applied for the position that I've been temping for, for almost a year. I started off as the work study at the Graduate School at the UM in 2011 and now I'm the official Admissions Coordinator at the Graduate School!!!! Whoo hoo!!! So excited! 

I feel secure in my future. I know that 6 months from now, I'll be at the same job. :) 

So, I want to say THANK YOU to every single person on Instagram who has added me on FB and asked to join Laura's group! It's amazing how supportive everyone is and how much people want to change! I can't believe some of you are asking me questions, I will do my best to answer them but I'm still learning so much already. My day was made when a follower on my IG tagged me in this photo. I never thought I could inspire someone...and I'm starting to become really humbled by everyone's comments!

 

 For dinner I had ground venison burger in lettuce with cheese and tomatoes. It was simple and delicious!! :)

So a new IG friend asked if I would post my workouts that I do with Laura so here is todays:

30 sec jumping jacks
15-20 static lunges with weights with 5 lbs bicep curl
50 donkey kicks (per leg...one leg at a time!)
30 second mountain climbers
15 second planks
30 seconds jog in place
 We did this 3 times and then followed it with this workout. We did each exercise in the video 3 times as well. 

 Jason, his brother Matt, Laura and myself did a great workout. :) 

I feel closer to my goals with every single workout. I feel great. I'm approaching my 2 month mark and I can't wait to see where I'll be in 4 months from now!
 
 

Fighting a Funk.

Yesterday was a good day. I spent the morning and afternoon relaxing and of course cleaning house. For breakfast I made some scrambled eggs with venixon and diced tomatoes with fruit on the side. :) 

 

 

Yesterday's workout was awesome. Laura, her neighbor, and I went on a hour hike. We hadn't hiked that mountain in a couple of weeks I think so it definately was a good burn. I like how we didn't take but maybe 2 breaks the whole time. :) It was nice knowing that I could go up further and further without stopping. 6 weeks ago I had such a hard time hiking that mountain. After our hour hike we hung out for about 20 minutes until we decided to either do a circuit or some Zumba Dancing!!! :) In October/December when I was at my heaviest I did zumba as a warm up before my Jilian Michaels and let me tell ya...it was horrible!

 

Don't get me wrong, even now doing Zumba or Turbo Jam is tough because I feel so akward. I feel that my legs and arms are strong but my mid section is still not where I want it to be so I just have to push that insecurity out of my head and give it my all so that I get the most out of my workouts.

 

Here is the first one we did. I can't find the other three so tonight when I'm at Laura's I'll see what we did on her YouTube channel and post them! 

 

After the workout!!!

 

 

 

 

This weekend I've had a lot of people reach out and tell me that they love reading my blog. It surprised me becasue they were people I didn't know would ever find my rambling interesting, but I do want to say thank you.

 

My Instagram, blog, and Facebook page keeps me accountable and I wouldn't have been able to stay motivated some days without knowing that people want to hear about what I did for my workout or what recipe I tried. So thank you!!!!

 

On another note: I'm almost to my -20 lbs goal and then I plan on losing another 30 for a total of 50lbs. :) I obviously need and will lose more than 50, but when I hit my 50 mark I am going to give myself a makeover! :) My Aunt Sue and I have been talking about attending a spa once we both lose another 30 lbs. She has been doing fantastic on her journey and I can't wait until the weekend where we go to a spa and simply relax in all of our hard work.

 

I've definately been in a funk lately, not sure what it's about. I'm guessing some of the depression I fight without medication is creeping up on me or the simple fact that I miss my family and Keller. Who knows? Either way, I'm making a promise to myself right now that this week I will eat COMPLETELY clean, workout 6 days a week, & change my mind set with every new day. I've come too far to let fear, a funk, or myself stand in the way.

 

 

 

I'll try to post tonight after our workout. :) I also plan to start posting new recipes I try. I think this week I will try a Vegan Chocolate Mouse I found online. It includes DATES.....yuck!!!!! lol I know my sister, Julie would love it, so we shall see!

 

Thank you again everyone. 

You're Feeling those Soup Cans Now, Aren't Ya?

I want to start off this blog post saying how extremely proud of our nation I am. My heart has been breaking all week due to the Boston Marathon Bombing and to watch live on television the perpetrator be caught made my evening.

So after work (I got off at 2:30...YAY!) the weather was a bit icky raining off and on with lots of wind. I decided to hang out and relax (while watching the live news coverage in Boston) until about 5:30. Laura and I had planned to get together and workout, but around 5, we both weren't feeling it. I chose the excuse of the weather, and she was just ready to say "the heck with it" just cause. I told her to not worry about coming over and that I would do some things on my own. (Ten minutes later, I still was on my couch). I haven't taken more than one day off at a time since I started so I was a bit scared. Then around 6:30 Laura message me on Facebook asking  if I was sure. She kept me accountable on the one day in the past 13 days that I've felt like I could just put it off. 

15 minutes later she was at my house, showing me how to do pushups on my counter tops, we went outside in a light sprinkle of rain (surprisingly it made it a perfect workout) we did squats, MULTIPLE sets of lunges across my lawn, and different kettle bell routines. 

Because I only have a 20 lbs kettle bell, doing curls was a bit of a challenge. Then Laura asked if I had any canned soup or vegetables. After questioning her sanity and grabbing them, my arms were on FIRE! Today I learned that it doesn't matter how heavy your weights are, it's the method, clarity of the movements, constant reps, and perfect form that builds and works those muscles! 

I know Laura saw the pain in my face because as you can tell by my unique title of the blog, the words "you're feeling those soup cans now, aren't ya?" came out of her mouth and I honestly can say I haven't laughed that hard in a really long time. 

The best part about our workouts is we laugh. She makes sure I have proper form and do ALL of my reps, but we also have fun with it. After a good 30-45 minutes in the yard doing targeted workouts, we went for cool down walk by the golf course down the road from my house! We walked and walked and walked and walked and talked. 

Having someone with the same goals makes it so much easier. Yes, I'm putting in the work, but knowing I have someone allows me to lean if I need. Tonight, I needed that lift and reminder to not give up, even when I've had a rough week. So, Laura, you ROCK! 

I finished my turkey burger with lettuce and tomato (NO BUN)  and now I'm working on my protein powder shake so my muscles won't be SUPER SORE tomorrow. :)

Tomorrow, I will be posting my numbers...yes....my weight...where I started 2 weeks ago and where I'm at currently. I'm preparing myself mentally...but I know this is part of the process.  

Dinner and Lunch Meals

Metabolic Drive. This protein powder is AMMMAZZZING! I use it every time after a workout.

 Click HERE to check it out!

Hearty salad: sweet snap peas, tomato, cucumbers, romaine hearts & a turkey burger topped with reduced fat cheese & tomato slices.

Hearty salad: tomatoes, turkey slices, reduced fat cheese, cucumbers with my pita pizza: pita bread, 1-2 tablespoons of sauce, sliced chicken, tomatoes, basil and parsley.

Chicken fajita wraps. Sliced chicken, reduced fat cheese, tomatoes in romaine lettuce heart wraps.

The Hidden Trail

The Hidden Trail View

 Take a look at my new best friend! This is about 3/4 up the hill. I will post more pictures of what it looks like from my house and the incline. My goal is to be able to briskly walk up the entire thing with little to no breaks by the end of the summer. I'm not sure if that gives me too much time to work on it, or if I won't accomplish it. Like I mentioned before, I've never really made fitness goals for myself before, so this is all new. :)

The trail wraps around the mountain to face Missoula on the "L"...I think the name of the mountain is Jumbo? Correct me if I'm wrong.

Last night I was able to take a break from working out, but tonight I plan on taking my walk, hiking up part of the trail, and doing 50 (might be 55...not sure) squats! I've taken part of the 30 Day Squat Challenge!

Thank goodness for the protein powder I use after my workouts. It literally has helped with the soreness and maintaining muscle during the last 10 days or so.

Tonight I plan on working out and then spending time on here. I will update with some foods/recipes that I've been eating, the protein powder I use, and the vitamins. I will also log the changes I've discovered lately.

I'm on my lunch break eating a turkey burger (no bun), a salad: romaine hearts chopped up, cherry tomatoes, cucumber, and snap peas with just a pinch of finely shredded reduced fat cheese (the kind with the Weight Watchers approval).