"Goals to Meet & Records to Break"

With my success of running on Friday and my emotional/mental victory I felt like a new woman! I knew my weekend would be very relaxed and full of activity to ensure that I "meet my goals and break records". 

Saturday was rest day! Boo ya! 

On Sunday, my friend Krystal and I went to my gym and had a 2 hour session of a full body workout. We did a 30 minute circuit ranging from burpees, squats, weighted squats, arm (focusing on triceps), and donkey kicks. Then, we spent a good hour on different machines focusing on legs and arms. We did 15 of the the heaviest weight we could tolerate, then 10 of the weight below X3. Then, we got on the treadmill but my shins were on fire, so I spent 20+minutes on the stair stepper while Krystal did intervals on the treadmill. We finished with 10 minutes in the sauna. Boy, did I feel it this morning! 

 This morning, (Monday-three day weekend!) I made 2 eggs with 7 grain oats (oatmeal) with a half a frozen banana and some dark chocolate peanut butter in it for some fuel before I headed to the gym. Once I got to the gym, I decided that no matter what I would be doing 40+ minutes on the treadmill. Once again, the shin splints came back. I decided to increase the incline and decrease the running speed so that it was a constant jog or power walk. I felt pretty good! I got to the point of realizing it didn't matter if I couldn't run, as long as I was sweating! I am looking into actual running shoes that are for my type of feet (I think some extra arch support while running will help). 

Morning Workout.

 I went home and put a whole chicken in my crock pot so I could have some delicious chicken for the week & had lunch. It was so beautiful out, I'm limiting how I describe the beauty because it's the end of January and it's like it's April out...I don't want to jinx it!

Haha. Anyway, I told myself I would go back to the gym to do weights but realized I was pretty sore from the day before and I didn't want to be inside. I headed out to the Hidden Trail behind my house! It's the trail/mountain that started it ALL! 

It was the first workout I did on April 6 and it was a "beast" that I had to battle time and time again. I found determination and passion on that trail and it's why I am the the person today! My first hike, it took me nearly 45 minutes to hike up the trail because of having to stop and having an anxiety attack every 10 minutes because I was telling myself I couldn't do it. Today, I ran up the trail in less than 15 minutes. I stopped, enjoyed the view, and did some stretching before I made my way back down. How amazing? I'm not going to talk about how out of shape I was or how sad I was 70+ lbs ago, because I'm so damn proud of what I did that day. I didn't give up and I kept going back. I'm only getting better! 

Tomorrow starts another work week, but I'm positive I'll make it to the gym each night like I did this last week. I'm so excited to see my transformation and journey continue. I've felt in a rut for months, still making small steps, but the reality is...this is life. I won't reach a goal weight and stay there just because. I will have to work at this for the rest of my life, but the differance between who I was months ago and who I am today, I'm okay with that! I'm excited to live a healthy life for years to come and find myself "surprised" by accomplishments I make each day. I always say that you need to surprise yourself in order to see change and progress! 

Have a fab week everyone, will update soon! 

Accomplishments, Balance, & Celebrations. The ABC's of Success!

Whoa. That title makes it sound like this is going to give you all the answers about weight loss and how to make a life changing journey.... I wish that was exactly what I could give you. Instead, I'll talk about some of those in my life that has taken place this last week! 

On Tuesday, the UM Staff Senate had a FREE Power Hour at Title Boxing Club for all UM Employees. I was excited to try kickboxing for the first time and actually take a group class again. I was warned ahead of time by one of the workers about how my heart rate would go up and that the workout and first 15 minutes would be the hardest part. I understood that kickboxing would be a challenge, but for a split second I was intimidated and I was considering leaving. I stuck it out. I kept up & was sweating harder than I ever have before. It was tough. A whole hour that felt like 2 hours. I learned so much & walked away feeling strong and powerful. 

Such a hard workout!

Had so much fun! 

On Thursday, it was the one day I've been waiting for the past 4 months!!! MACKLEMORE & RYAN LEWIS in Missoula! I have been working my tail off so I could feel awesome in the outfit I wore to the concert! I had a tough time shopping for the outfit because I didn't know what I wanted to "look" like. I finally landed on the idea of skinny jeans, boots, and a nice flowy top. I didn't get a full body picture but I felt AMAZING and I was so happy! I enjoyed the concert so much & it was worth the hard work and dedication. Macklemore & Ryan Lewis put on the BEST show I've ever been to! I danced the night away! 

Me & Alesha!

Karla, Me, & Aislinn

This weekend I decided to have some fun! I didn't eat that well and didn't workout, but I had fun and my soul needed some friend time and no stresses! I didn't do horribly, but I could have done better! The best part? I keep looking at myself in windows or in pictures and am amazed at how far I've come and I know I could never let myself go again. 

So, since tonight is Sunday night I did some grocery shopping & wanted to share some ideas! I found some dark chocolate almond milk (sweetened) and compared it to my normal unsweetened almond milk. I posted it on IG and so many people started bashing on the sugar content. I agree, it is higher...but it's not as high as most chocolate milks out there. Plus, my sugar in take is VERY low (natural sources only) so the fact that I will only add splashes of it on occasion in my smoothies. I took a couple sips and enjoyed it! 

Here is some meal prep ideas! Click here for the full recipes! 

Egg Muffins

Red Potatoes

Crock Pot Chicken "Fajitas"

Find a Balance

What Brings You Peace?

If there is one thing that I've found most important during this whole journey is to find a balance. Not just pertaining to exercise or food. You need to have a balanced life, I know, easier said than done. It takes a lot of practice and sometimes it feels like a big FAILURE but other times you feel such peace that you are reminded why you started this crazy journey. 

I am a Christian, I'm sure you have all picked up on that if you've been following my posts. I was raised with my Native American traditions passed down from my great grandmother, but I was also raised in a small church. When I was a teenager, I attended a church camp for 7 years and it was a big part of my faith and identity as a Christian. 

So, when it comes to finding a balance it's important that you take time and turn to an area in your life that heals, rejuvenates, and motivates your spirit. If you are Catholic, Buddhist, Muslim, Christian, or if religion is something that you may not lean toward, find something. When I am home or am able to go to a Pow-Wow or sit with an elder, I always feel at "home" and peaceful. It's a large part of who I am and it puts my life into perspective. I am also reminded of the traditions I hold close and it reminds me to stay connected to that part of my life, even away from the reservation. 

Comparison Picture.

So many of us find losing weight is difficult and all your time and energy is spent in the kitchen or at the gym. Yes, that is a majority of it, but if you're not taking time to really find inner peace and balance, all your hard work can go unnoticed or your progress can be delayed because you're not in a "right mind". I highly encourage you to reach out to a friend, group, or organization that brings you happiness. 

I spent the weekend at a women's retreat and I found myself not focusing on my weight or what to eat next. Yes, we ate meals and there were options of bad and healthy food, and I felt amazing when I had healthy food on my plate but also allowed myself to eat a donut hole. I didn't fret because I was in a positive mind set. I knew that all my hard work the past 7 months wouldn't be rouined with a donut hole. I also reminded myself of the simple fact: this journey is to prepare us for the future. 

Everyone says to take it one day at a time. Yes, that's so true; you can become very overwhelmed. But there comes a day, and I promise you, it will come; you aren't just focusing on the hour you're in, you aren't worried about the decisions you're making that second. You look to tomorrow, aware of what challenges come and you have such confidence to get through anything thrown your way. That's when you know this challenge has become a lifestyle. 

October 21, 2013. Meal prep for work & an update picture.

 Be confident in your ability to change your life. You can spend days and hours talking yourself down and talking yourself out of a decision, but you're only hurting yourself. Stop holding yourself back, lift your spirit and mind higher than you ever imagined; progress will take place. You may not like your body, but until you accept it and realize that changes can be done, you will always be stuck where you are. Accept it, look at it, touch it, know what you're working with and start the improvements. Once you see progress, you will fall in love with your imperfect body. Remember, we all have imperfect bodies, it's how we fall in love with them each day that makes us successful. 

Wishing you peace, acceptance, joy, and understanding in this crazy journey. Lean on me, ask questions, find someone who you can be accountable to, and never give up.

xoxo

With Hard Work... Comes AWESOME Success!

First: I want to apologize for not posting for a couple of weeks. Life really has picked up, or maybe my activity level has picked up? I'm enjoying my summer & not giving up! So much has happened it feels like. Of course, this month has been NO SCALE JULY so that's been an experience. No weighing in once a week was weird to get used to, but I had to find ways to keep focused. This month, I've learned to look more at myself in the mirror and focus on clothes. I didn't realize the amount of time I spent daydreaming about the numbers and focusing on the numbers. Obviously, yes, the numbers decreasing is motivating because I have a lot to lose, but now that I'm finding a healthier relationship with the scale, I'm focusing on other aspects of this journey and at the end of the day I go to bed feeling proud and content with myself. 

So, you guessed it more progress pictures! Why? Because I'm changing!!!! On New Years Eve, I went to a party and the picture on the L is then :) A couple weeks ago I wore the same shirt (hadn't done laundry in a few days so I wasn't able to just pick anything I wanted to wear). On the R is what it looked like. A few people at work mentioned how I was "swimming" in the shirt. After taking a picture and comparing it, I was shocked! I had the realization that even though I had sold a lot of my "fat" clothes (sorry for those of you who don't like that term) but I still needed to get rid of the other clothes currently in my closet. 

So, I had gone to a local clothing shop ReStyle Clothing Exchange a few weeks prior where you can cash in your nice, used clothes and even buy new items. I had bought some workout pieces, and thought that if the owner was willing to take my plus size clothes I could maybe find new clothes there, or even go somewhere else in town with the cash to go find a couple new pairs of shorts. After washing four large loads of laundry, I had two huge bags of clothes to be sold. I didn't realize how much I had sitting in the back of my closet! So crazy! 

I had called ahead prior to going in to make sure she would take some of the larger size pants that I found in the back of my closet and some tops that were XXL and some plus size from different stores. She said she would, so I went in cashed in my items! For in store credit you get 50% of what she will sell it for in the store or you can take 40% of it in cash. I took the cash. 

I immediately headed to Old Navy (obsessed with store!). Now, I started at size 18 pants and usually 20 shorts (to hide the love handle area). I had been wearing a size 14-15 in pants depending on the style. So, I got a size 16 and 14 and headed to the one place I absolutely HATE....the dressing room. I put on the first pair without looking at the size.

That's right, a size 14 in shorts....probably haven't been that size since about Freshman year in high school. My hate for the dressing room changed. This was a huge mental transition to me. I had smaller clothes in my closet that I've started wearing recently, but going to a store and being able to pick out a smaller size....actually 4 sizes smaller is so exciting. 

 Here's a little Flashback Friday (from this past Friday!). On the L i was 245ish lbs on February 1st, 2013. On the right: July 19 somewhere around 200...maybe less?! (I'll find out soon!). This picture is such a huge motivator. I didn't think in February that I could do it, I tried but gave up after a few weeks...but look at me now! 

 

Core & Arm workout!

First time using my watch! I did a circuit and hike behind my house! Whooo hoo!

Just a little core workout in the living room :)

Last night's Biggest Loser Max Cardio and Fitsugar workout!

This week I bought a Polar FT4 Heart Rate Monitor Watch off of Amazon for $62.00. I did a lot of research prior to purchasing it. I had been following so many people on Instagram that count calories and use it to determine their calories for working out. I DO NOT COUNT CALORIES so I had the idea that I wouldn't benefit from it (although seeing how hard your workouts are is a positive). After a lot of research I found out that it doesn't just tell you the calories you burn, it also tells you your heart rate. Based on my weight (I put 208 down), height, and the heart rate monitor it keeps track of when you're "in range". The "in range" section lets you know when you're burning the most calories as possible (that your body lets you) while maintaining a healthy heart. I was born with a few heart problems and it's so important that the weight is gone that I strengthen my heart and not damage it. This really was the deciding factor in purchasing the watch. After a few workouts, I'm so happy with my decision. Honestly, I live on a tight budget and I was able to affoard it by saving up a little every couple paychecks. I really like the feature that tells you how long during your entire workout that you were in rage. It really makes you want to become stronger and spend more time "in range" to get the most out of your workouts!

I wanted to share two videos that I used last night! :) A friend of mine introduced me to FitSugar, a great FREE online place to get workout videos targeting all areas with some of the most known celebrity trainers! I also did a favorite Biggest Loser Max Cardio workout :)
Here are the two videos!
 

Here are a couple of pictures of some love handle and bum progress. This is exactly 8 weeks a part. :) 

 I'm so excited for the end of July to see what kind of progress I've made. I'm honestly hoping to be in ONEderland....so that's -8 lbs in a month. I know my body is changing and I see that daily, but we shall see! 

I hope everyone is staying cool, the summer is really getting hot! If anyone in the Missoula area would like to get together to workout or hike, let me know! :) 

xoxo

Body Reservations

If you follow me on Instagram, you probably have seen a lot of my skin. Haha. My Instagram was originally just a personal account for random pictures and selfies, but 3 months ago I decided to use it as a way to document my progress and struggles. It helps keep me accountable and allows me to be inspired by others that I follow. 

It was really hard for me to post my first "before" picture and show the world how big I really had gotten. But with supportive followers, growing self confidence, and having pictures to show progress I was able to face the world. 

I have had a lot of people comment "wow, you're so brave to post this picture", "you go girl, no many people can share their body when they don't like it", "you're so inspiring to embrace what you're doing fully". 

Guess what? I'm not brave. I'm doing what I have to do to remind myself how far I've come and that I DO have what it takes to reach my goals. There was a day where I lifted my shirt and saw a difference from back in April and all reservations about my "fat" body was gone. I had improved a lot for 3 months. I was proud of that. Every 208 lbs of it, I was proud because I had come a long way since 242. 

So, in honor of not having reservation about my body, I posted my second "bare skin" picture yesterday on Instagram. Since I shared the 30 day challenge with you, I figured I would post a before picture. Here is my "before" on July 1, 2013.

 Can you believe that I'm proud of that?!?

I already know that my "after" picture is going to show progress at the end of the month and I'm so excited. 

Yesterday was day 2 of the challenge! I haven't been doing situps since I started working out because I always thought of them as "useless". I do know that I'm feeling the small amount I've done in my abs so that's good. I just have to remember to use correct form so my back and neck aren't strained.

After my workout :)

Now, I want to touch base on something that is a bit more "personal". It isn't directed toward any one person, however I'm sure a few people will be able to relate and hopefully understand my mental state. 

Now, I know how annoying it can be for friends and family when someone they know goes on a "health kick". I know that I can only talk about fitness for the majority of conversations. When people ask me "what's new?" My response, "Oh nothing, just working out, working on my time for my mile run, doing strength training circuits, managing macros". But for those of you who are annoyed by your "health kick" friends, here is something to understand: a schedule is put in place when someone is serious about their health. Partying and lounging around isn't a main priority. My days are very much a like (with of course the events of hanging out with friends or doing stuff around town to get out of the house). I get joy and excitement out of doing a new workout and pushing my body to a new goal. But, with my 9-5:30 office job, working out, meal prepping, and making sure I have a somewhat organized house I don't do much unless it's on the weekends. I like investing in myself during everyday of the week. 

By investing in myself it also means that I don't put myself in a situation where I'm encouraged or pressured into going out to dinner a few times a week or having a drink every single night. I know what my body needs and wants and for me to reach my goals, all of those "luxuries" are very limited. I don't deprive myself by any means but I also don't indulge every night so then I'm feeling horrible and it takes twice the time to make a goal I've put in front of me.

I knew that by changing my interests, goals, and priorities I would most likely either lose or distance myself from friends. At first I thought it wouldn't happen, but then I found that for certain occasions, it might be necessary. Now, I know that my "real" friends will understand and support me, but it doesn't make the decision any less hard for me. I know people probably think that I'm judging them because they decide to get a fat hamburger with fries while I order a garden salad and low carb pasta. 

Guess what?! I don't judge anyone by their eating habits. The only time I will argue and maybe make any kind of comment is when someone says they can eat anything and everything and still be thin. People may think that and bless their fast metabolism, but just because you aren't getting "fat" doesn't mean that your body is being nourished properly.  

The truth is, I'm focusing on JUST ME! I don't take the time to worry about others and what they eat unless they reach out and would like ideas, advice, or help. I'm not doing this to know more, or be better than anyone but who I was 3 months ago. 

So, with that being said, I want to apologize to anyone who has felt or maybe that I made them feel that way. I'm changing a lot and I do have different interests. I will occasionally go out to meet up with friends for a drink or maybe dinner, but it won't be something I can or will do a lot of the time. If anyone wants to go hiking or running, or even workout together, just let me know! I'm finding myself so interested in physical activities that I won't turn them down!

Now, I found this little quote online yesterday and even though I'd like to think I don't have haters, here is a reminder for those of us who sometimes feel that there are people are just can't seem to get over their issues when it comes to YOU or others around you!

Helpful Changes :)

So, I started this journey and my priority was to help myself. I would ask for help from friends if I needed it because I knew I was bettering myself by doing so. I asked Laura for help and I'm grateful she agreed. She lost her weight and wanted to inspire and help other women. 

I didn't know that I would be inspiring people along the way. I didn't know that my friends and family would come to me for advice or just tell me on a daily basis that they saw me workout so they did the workout I posted on Instagram. I'm amazed at the amount of support and encouragement throughout this journey. 

I want to clairfy, I still have a lot to learn. When it comes to nutrition, I know the basics. If I see or hear a term that I don't know what it means, I will research the heck out of it. I know what my body needs by now and I listen to it! As for workouts, I obviously know the importance of cardio--to shed pounds. But I'm also learning that lifting weights will help shed pounds as well! Lifting weights isn't going to make you huge and buff right away, it aids in the effort to loose weight while gaining muscle. 

Now the following are tips/hints/changes that either Laura introduced me to, or that I have found along the way. I do everything on the list and for the most part, I see the benefits. :) I am not a doctor nor a medical professional.

• Getting PLENTY of sleep. I'm a night owl and HATE mornings so this was one of the hardest. Trying to get at least 7-8 hours a night was the biggest struggle. Our bodies do so much while we are sleeping and it's important. I think of sleep as fuel for my workouts the next day. 
• Eat Breakfast. I am not a breakfast person, probably because I'm not a morning person. I would usually eat "breakfast" and it would be my lunch hour. Sometimes I would wake up at 8 am and not eat until 1 or 2 because I was busy at work and I didn't think I was hungry. This often lead to my lunch at 2 being a huge wrap or a hamburger or something equally bad. Now, eating within the first 30-60 minutes has increased my metabolism and makes me less cranky throughout the day.
• Drink water! I try to do a gallon a day. I have a water bottle with me at all times. It typically fits in my purse :) You don't have to drink a gallon a day. Typically, a lot of people when trying it for the first time feel very full and have to pee a lot, but that means your body is getting rid of toxins! 
• Vitamin B Complex. I have struggled with depression and anxiety since junior high. I'm a very emotional person and with stress, it gets worse. My anxiety can make sick and my depression turns me into the biggest dragon lady EVER! Laura introduced it to me (I quit taking anti depressants and mood stabilizers) and the vitamin b has helped so much! I have more energy in the morning. I really think it turned me into a morning person, Ha. I am able to handle stressful situations. My phases of being depressed don't last as long. I used to go through months, but now I haven't been depressed for longer than 10 days at a time. 
• Eat Clean. Eating clean means different things to different people. Don't let others tell you what clean it is. Of course, if you're eating Hamburger Helper with a soda, that isn't clean eating. To me I identify clean eating as: no processed foods, anything in a box I typically stay away from. Food that has been already cooked down and I have to re-cook...NO! Example: tv dinners. I eat more veggies and fruits than I ever have before. If it grows and comes from a tree or the ground, EAT IT! When it comes to carbs, I mad the personal decision to cut back A LOT. 6 months ago I would have pasta with every single meal as a side. Now, I'll have bread or pasta maybe once or twice a week. When it comes to bread and pasta whole wheat is the way to go. I have done a lot of research and have found that when people turn away carbs all together they tend to gain weight back later, faster. I want my body to have carbs ocassionally, especially depending on my workout schedule. 
• Plan Ahead. Some people can sit down and plan a whole month of meals out in a calendar. I can't. My budget for food varies on other bills, so I typically have anywhere from $130-200 every two weeks. Yes, that seems like a lot. Trust me the first few shopping trips, I was blown away at how much "clean eating" costs. But, if you buy produce at a good health food store, the food lasts longer. I get all my groceries at Costco. Buying in bulk does save some money. It's just myself in my household so if I need little things I will go to a different health food store. Don't go grocery shopping on a hungry stomach. Make a list and stick to it. I know where I need to go in the store before I go, so I don't run down every single aisle until I get to the produce. I go straight to the produce and then the coolers for my meat and other veggies. 
• Meals. There are a lot of different websites and charts you can find about portions. I know some people who literally weigh out every single thing they put in their mouth. Typically, a lot of them are also calorie counters. That's not me. I know that portions play a huge role in eating, you don't want to over eat. I eat 3 main meals with two snacks throughout the day. I try to eat every 2-3 hours. Small portions. I am never feeling hungry during the day (unless I have a hard workout right before dinner). 
• Counting Calories. Surprise, surprise. I don't count calories. I used to. I obsessed over it for almost a month. I used My Fitness Pal as an app and it is amazing. I would freak out if I went over or had too many carbs or didn't work out enough during my workouts. Counting literally caused me to quit. It was too much. Instead, I use the method's described above. However, if I'm eating out or am trying something for the first time, I will read the label (if provided) or search for it in My Fitness Pal. It's good to have knowledge about what's going in your body. I know a few people who count calories and it works for them, I think that's great, but I'm not one of them. 
• Workouts. Everyone has to start somewhere. We can't have progress pictures if we don't take the initiative and START! I started by hiking. Laura and I started with doing about a 20-30 minute hike a few times a week. It was about building endurance and using muscles that probably hadn't been used in MONTHS! Once we did that, we kicked it up a notch and hiked farther and for longer. After about a month and a half of hiking we started circuits. Circuits are my favorite! Helps with focusing on certain body parts or just getting a full over body workout. I also decided to start running a mile. I wanted to improve my time and really push myself. I'm still learning a lot about workouts and what my body needs and wants when it comes to exercise. I encourage YouTube! Jillian Michaels is a beast and she has some great workouts on there. 

• Weigh Ins. Some people don't even own a scale, that's great! I envy that, but I started at 242 lbs on April 6 (my highest weight being 253 in October 2012) and I know that I need to weigh in. I told myself I would weigh in every Saturday. Since then, I've done pretty well. Lately, I found myself getting obsessed with the numbers so I decided to take a 2 week break from it. I'm finding that I know I'm losing inches because old clothes are fitting finally or that something I wore two weeks ago is loose. It's a good feeling. Sometimes it's great to focus on the way we FEEL instead of how much weight we've lost. However, I think the scale helps keep me accountable! 

I know this is a lot of information to take it. I'm sorry it's so long and such a ramble, but these are some changes I've made and I'm seeing progress. 

Get out there and get moving! 

xoxo.

 

Fighting Demons

I guess I'll start off with the bad and choose to end on a positive note. 

Today's workout was hard. It was hard physically and mentally. Honestly, I know it was more mental than anything else because I wanted to cry and I typically don't want to cry unless I can't express or comprehend how I feel. We (Laura, Jason, and I) did 45 pushups (easy part of the workout) and then decided to run up the mountain we hike in Bonner. 

Once we started getting going, I realized AGAIN how big I still am even though I feel great and feel like I've improved soooo much! I was reminded of my stomach, my thighs, my knees that ache from time to time, my lungs being weak, and my mental state of "Fat Chelsea". That's exactly what the issue was I felt HUGE. I felt horrible. For the first couple of minutes I was saying "Come on Chelsea, just do your best. You can hike this easy and you can also run...just give it your all". 

I'll be honest, yes, I tried and I did run even as my legs were burning and my knee was like "wtf?" and my lungs felt like they were collapsing. I don't know why I got so defeated, but I guess I just thought my body could do a little more and of course do it a little better. 

I'm really proud and impressed by Jason though. He pushed and ran straight to the top. Laura hung back with me when I needed a walking break. I seriously can't wait until no one has to wait or slow down for me. 

So, yeah, the workout was though and it didn't leave me with ALL positive feelings but I like that my legs are still sore and that I know I had a good sweat. And, next time, I'll try harder...and give it my all. And eventually, I'll get there. I need to remember I still have so much more weight to lose and I still have so much further to go on this journey. 

So, on a positive note. I woke up this morning and walked by the mirror to see someone I haven't seen in a while. Given that I was in all black and in spandex...but I felt like I looked different just a little bit more "healthier". I would have never taken a picture in a tank top and spandex shorts 6 weeks ago but because I felt awesome this morning, I DID!!! 

  
 I also was looking through my pictures from when Laura and I first started hiking and look what I found--the picture on the left and today is the picture on the right. I know the standing position is different & my clothes are different, but still...

I have a lot to be proud of, even on days like today where I feel like I took a couple steps back. I'm living a life that many don't make the choice to live. I'm determined and have showed so much dedication that I can't give up. I won't give up. (I love how this is turning into a little pep talk to myself. Haha). 

 
    Whatever tomorrow brings, I'll give it my all. I'll make it different from today. I won't allow myself to beat my mind down by calling myself fat or HUGE again. 

We all have demons...every single day. It just so happens that mine showed themselves today.  

Count Your Blessings...Every. Single. Day

Today, I woke up BEFORE my alarm went off. Weird, I know! Haha. 

I want to start off by saying THANK YOU for such positive and unbelievable feedback and reresponse to last night's posting about my PCOS. I had a lot of people on Instagram find my blog and reply in such a loving and supportive way! I even had a couple women find that my symptoms are similar to their own, which made them want to go see the doctor. It's all about knowledge and prevention ladies!

 

I had a banana, strawberry, organic fat free milk with metabolic drive protein powder for breakfast! Hating breakfast, I've found a protein shake goes and stays down easier!

For lunch I had a chicken burger with lettuce and tomato on top with a salad. 

 

Now, lets talk about my FAVORITE part of the day! Last week my Nana had a check up (a year after her colon surgery for her cancer) and the results came back today after they removed two polyps last week. CANCER FREE!!!!!! She doesn't have to go to get a colonoscopy for another 3 years! God is Great! ALL THE TIME! 

I spent a good 15 minutes crying to the Creator in thanks and absolute happiness. My nana is my life, next to my mom and I'm so happy that her fight and determination shows that she can overcome ANYTHING!  

Need a laugh? Here you go! 

 

 

Laura, Jason, and I did two seperate circuits :) 

 Laura posts daily workout challenges on her facebook page "Lets Lose It Together". Check it out & ask to join! She has a great outline for meals and nutritional guides for a low carb, high protein diet! :) She also has "healthified" recipes!

I wasn't wanting to workout AT ALL, which I knew meant I had to no matter what. This whole week has been difficult for me. I know it's my 6 weeks and that I might be running on empty or might be getting restless, but every single day I keep telling myself to keep pushing. I'm not sure how I feel about weigh in day. I know I've been working out and eating well (maybe not as often and as on time as usual and I've had a little more sodium than usual) but I know I'm giving it my best in my current "funk".

So, the next couple of days I really need to push myself to the point where I just feel PROUD of a non scale accomplishment. I think a trip home will help too, I know I'm missing my family A LOT! It's been almost 6 months since I've been home. 

I plan on making a daily workout plan before I go home so I can go to the community center and workout during my vacation home. I need to show myself that I can go on "vacation" and still eat clean and workout. If I can do that next week, I don't care what the scale will say the following Saturday! 

Check out what I had for dinner! A deer roast that cooked in the crock pot ALL DAY LONG! It was delicious. One of the best meals I've had in a long time! 

   
So, I still have to make my lunch for tomorrow, I'm thinking tilapia with a salad and fresh veggies. 

I'm getting pretty tired already and it's only 10, so I'm off to make a quick lunch and then head to bed. I hope everyone has a great night and day tomorrow! :)