First 5K & HUGE Milestone!

I'm not a runner. I don't like running, actually. I never ran when I was heavier because I simply couldn't. Now that I can, it's not one of those things I love to, but I will do it. One of my 3 goals for losing weight and becoming fit was to run...not walk for cancer and other issues close to my heart. I told myself that one day I would run a half marathon or maybe a full marathon for raising money for cancer, PCOS, suicide etc. I shared my goals and hope to run a 5k this year with my dear friend, Mamoru, and just days before he left this earth he said, "why just run one 5k? Run 5!" I laughed. I told him I would try. Since he left, I wanted to honor his name and memory in a positive, clean, healthy way. After all, he was one of my biggest supporters. I decided that for the next year I would run as many 5K's as possible. 

I have a t-shirt that his mom, Julie gave me when I was at their home. It has a picture of him and a beautiful writing piece on the back about family. Mamoru was the closest thing to a brother I had, so I thought it was only fitting that with each race I do, I will wear the shirt, write the date, race name, and time on the shirt. After a year, I will frame the shirt and put it on my wall. I didn't realize how emotional participating a 5K would be for me. Yes, I was emotional because I was remembering my friend, but also the simple fact I would have never signed up at 250 lbs...even to walk it. My confidence and self worth has increased beyond belief. 

I spent most of the 5k walking with a friend because of how cold it was! I definately did not train for a 5k in the cold. My lungs were freaking out, even walking. I'm excited though, I plan to actually train for a 5k at least a couple times a week. I think I'll practice running outside during the weekend, so my lungs have some idea as to what to expect. :) 

I did this for you, Mamoru.

I'm noticing strength and endurance in my body that I didn't know existed. I was just telling a friend last week, I feel like I'm in this awkward stage because I know my body can do so much more than what it looks like I'm capable of doing. Yes, I don't look 250 lbs anymore, but I don't look like a body builder either. However, when I see women and men benching weights or doing machines at the gym, and I'm able to keep up, they are shocked. That to me, proves that any number on a scale is crap!! 

I've said this soooo many times before, and I probably will continue to say it until the end of time. It's something I'm extrmeley passionate about and I truly believe nothing (body size, weight, etc) will change unless it place....


LOVE YOURSELF!!! YOUR BODY IS CHANGING,

I had to tell myself that I was worth fighting for. Once I did that, everything fell into place. No, it didn't happen over night and I still had to work very hard and remind myself often of my purpose and love for my body. Once I did though, I felt unstoppable. Be realistic. Stare at yourself in the mirror often. Look at what you're working with. Picture the slightest changes and soon it won't be a picture, it will be reality. The hardest part of this journey is the mental struggles that come with food, body image, and self worth. 

Something this weekend happened that really gave me a new rush of motivation. Last October 13, 2012, I was at a football game and a picture was taken of me. You've probably seen it posted it quit a bit, it's a picture of my heaviest weight 253 lbs. I untagged myself on facebook, deleted it off my facebook, etc when it first was posted. Now, it's a favorite photo to reference because I've come so far!! Anyway, a whole year has passed since that photo, and I decided to wear the same top and the same size jeans as the picture to share a little comparison. :) 

I am wearing a size 18/20 (stretch) American Eagle pants and a XXL stretch sweater.on the picture on the Left. Currently I'm in a size L/M in shirt (depending on the style) & a 12/13 pair of pants.There is a total of 72+ lbs difference between then & now.