My Body Responding to Change

I hurt. My back, shoulders, shoulder blades, calves, hands, obliques, quads, ankles, abs, and forearms hurt like hell. I feel like I was in a car accident. 

My goal this month is to challenge myself physically and see results by staying dedicated and consistent. I chose fasted cardio because of my trouble areas. My plan is to do fasted cardio 4 consecutive days. I chose to start on Friday and go until Monday. I would also do an additional workout on those days, so it would be considered "2 a days" for four days out of the week. 

Last week (November 1-4), I did Friday-Sunday and Monday morning had a really stiff knee and chose to let it rest and decide on how hard I would push it that night. Luckily, it popped a second time (this happens from time to time) and it felt like normal. That night I decided to push myself with my workout and did intervals of sprinting and light jogging after my initial 30 minute elliptical and circuit full body training.  I definitely made up for my lack of fasted cardio and experienced my first "runners high". I got it from short distance sprints on the university indoor track. 

I chose to take Tuesday as my rest day where I did absolutely NOTHING and loved every second of it. My eating has been on point. I honestly feel like a mental switch has occurred again, I don't struggle with having to remind myself to eat healthy, it just happens. I of course want to pay attention since I am working out a bit harder and may have to up my calories on certain days, but so far, I've felt wonderful. 

Wednesday, I finally met Krystal and her friend Sasha at Title Boxing Club in Missoula. (You may remember a previous post about it and how it kicked my butt?). We received 2 free weeks when we ran the Diva Dash 5k in town. Having had participated in a "Power Hour" class before I felt a little more mentally prepared than my first time. The instructor was great and we had a lot of fun while our bodies were screaming from new challenges and techniques. 

Thursday, I was a bit sore in my arms and shoulder blades than I expected. Krystal, Sasha, Alesha, and I decided to head off to kickboxing again. It was Alesha's first class! We were pretty sore and stiff, but the staff was right by coming and getting the kinks out the next day. Our instructor was definitely more fast paced and intense then our Wednesday instructor which was awesome...although my body doesn't agree. 

Today (Friday) I'm feeling very sore and it is taking me everything I have to go to the gym in a hour. I'm excited to just do cardio and SWEAT, but I know my body seems a bit stiff so I think some stretching will have to be in the plan. 

This 3 day weekend is full of fun new workouts, and I'm so excited to share with you all! 

XOXO

NOVEMBER! New Month, New Goals!

November 1st? Where has the last year gone? It's amazing how much can change and how much a person can improve themselves in such a short amount of time! I don't even miss the person I was last year! Anyway, lets focus on THIS MONTH! The last 7-10 days were tough for me. I was in a funk mentally, and I think a part of it was being homesick. For some reason, seeing November on the calendars made me realize that I will see my family on Thanksgiving, and it will come soon! I decided to start this month NEW, REFRESHED, & READY to kick some butt. 

A couple days before the end of October, I got some exciting, motivating, and incredible news. I got some blood work done a couple weeks ago for a Wellness Check through my job. I requested to have pretty much a full panel done, especially on my glucose and A1C numbers. The past 6 years, my A1C number has been a 7.5-7.8 on a scale of 4.0-6.0. When I recieved my lab work back, my results for my A1C was 5.0!! This was the push and affirmation I needed that what I am doing is working for MY BODY! 

I have some November goals in mind and I'm so excited to reach them! Here are my November Goals. (If this is the first time you're seeing goals like these, I encourage you to make some for yourself! Every month focus on these 3-7 things you want to accomplish! They can be as little or as big as you choose).

Let me break them down a little. Especially the first one. "2 a days" or 2 workouts in one day. The first workout is fasted cardio; I will wake up and immidately change into workout gear and head to the gym (the cold air and soon to be snow on the ground isn't appealing to me at 6:30 in the morning). Check out the link for info on fasted cardio. After I get off work, I will go home, eat dinner and head back to the gym for weights and and more cardio! I did my first day of fasted cardio this morning and it was a great success so far! I'm excited to go home "carb up" and head to the gym for an intense workout session! My fasted cardio was 30 minutes on the eliptical and I burned over 300 calories (for those of you who love to count).

My plan this month to really challenge myself is to do this 4 consecutive days in a row. Monday-Tuesday! One the other 3 days, I will do one workout, on my rest day I will most likely do yoga or a light walk. I feel like my eating is on point a lot of the time and my workouts have been the same since about August so I'm trying to shock my body a little and try something new.

Meal prepping has become something the last few weeks that I enjoy and look forward to (WHO KNEW!) See...what we learn when we try new things, come on people! 
 

Did you know that Jillian  Michaels (MY FITSPO) has PCOS?

I also have taken full body progress pictures from all angles so I can compare how this month of a higher intensity of workouts do for my body. I can't wait to take a picture with my family and compare it against last year's thanksgiving photo! 

Yesterday, my office dressed up as duck dynasty/duck commanders. It was fun to see the kids come to the office and get toys and for people to look at us with our gross looking beards! 

 The best part is documenting this journey. I'm so shocked at the smallest changes, and how much better I feel after a long day by looking at a comparison picture. For me, it isn't because I look skinny or fit. My confidence and my smile is real! I look and gleam HEALTH! Where before, I was empty. 

Here's a little comparison picture of halloween 2011 vs 2013. 2011 wasn't even my heaviest weight!


I hope each one of you embrace a new month and work hard for the progress YOU WANT! I'm so motivated and excited to see where I'll be by the end of 2013. This year has been the greatest year of my life, even with my struggles, loss, heartache, and disappointment. I am more motivated to make my future all that it can be!

Accomplishments, Balance, & Celebrations. The ABC's of Success!

Whoa. That title makes it sound like this is going to give you all the answers about weight loss and how to make a life changing journey.... I wish that was exactly what I could give you. Instead, I'll talk about some of those in my life that has taken place this last week! 

On Tuesday, the UM Staff Senate had a FREE Power Hour at Title Boxing Club for all UM Employees. I was excited to try kickboxing for the first time and actually take a group class again. I was warned ahead of time by one of the workers about how my heart rate would go up and that the workout and first 15 minutes would be the hardest part. I understood that kickboxing would be a challenge, but for a split second I was intimidated and I was considering leaving. I stuck it out. I kept up & was sweating harder than I ever have before. It was tough. A whole hour that felt like 2 hours. I learned so much & walked away feeling strong and powerful. 

Such a hard workout!

Had so much fun! 

On Thursday, it was the one day I've been waiting for the past 4 months!!! MACKLEMORE & RYAN LEWIS in Missoula! I have been working my tail off so I could feel awesome in the outfit I wore to the concert! I had a tough time shopping for the outfit because I didn't know what I wanted to "look" like. I finally landed on the idea of skinny jeans, boots, and a nice flowy top. I didn't get a full body picture but I felt AMAZING and I was so happy! I enjoyed the concert so much & it was worth the hard work and dedication. Macklemore & Ryan Lewis put on the BEST show I've ever been to! I danced the night away! 

Me & Alesha!

Karla, Me, & Aislinn

This weekend I decided to have some fun! I didn't eat that well and didn't workout, but I had fun and my soul needed some friend time and no stresses! I didn't do horribly, but I could have done better! The best part? I keep looking at myself in windows or in pictures and am amazed at how far I've come and I know I could never let myself go again. 

So, since tonight is Sunday night I did some grocery shopping & wanted to share some ideas! I found some dark chocolate almond milk (sweetened) and compared it to my normal unsweetened almond milk. I posted it on IG and so many people started bashing on the sugar content. I agree, it is higher...but it's not as high as most chocolate milks out there. Plus, my sugar in take is VERY low (natural sources only) so the fact that I will only add splashes of it on occasion in my smoothies. I took a couple sips and enjoyed it! 

Here is some meal prep ideas! Click here for the full recipes! 

Egg Muffins

Red Potatoes

Crock Pot Chicken "Fajitas"

Find a Balance

What Brings You Peace?

If there is one thing that I've found most important during this whole journey is to find a balance. Not just pertaining to exercise or food. You need to have a balanced life, I know, easier said than done. It takes a lot of practice and sometimes it feels like a big FAILURE but other times you feel such peace that you are reminded why you started this crazy journey. 

I am a Christian, I'm sure you have all picked up on that if you've been following my posts. I was raised with my Native American traditions passed down from my great grandmother, but I was also raised in a small church. When I was a teenager, I attended a church camp for 7 years and it was a big part of my faith and identity as a Christian. 

So, when it comes to finding a balance it's important that you take time and turn to an area in your life that heals, rejuvenates, and motivates your spirit. If you are Catholic, Buddhist, Muslim, Christian, or if religion is something that you may not lean toward, find something. When I am home or am able to go to a Pow-Wow or sit with an elder, I always feel at "home" and peaceful. It's a large part of who I am and it puts my life into perspective. I am also reminded of the traditions I hold close and it reminds me to stay connected to that part of my life, even away from the reservation. 

Comparison Picture.

So many of us find losing weight is difficult and all your time and energy is spent in the kitchen or at the gym. Yes, that is a majority of it, but if you're not taking time to really find inner peace and balance, all your hard work can go unnoticed or your progress can be delayed because you're not in a "right mind". I highly encourage you to reach out to a friend, group, or organization that brings you happiness. 

I spent the weekend at a women's retreat and I found myself not focusing on my weight or what to eat next. Yes, we ate meals and there were options of bad and healthy food, and I felt amazing when I had healthy food on my plate but also allowed myself to eat a donut hole. I didn't fret because I was in a positive mind set. I knew that all my hard work the past 7 months wouldn't be rouined with a donut hole. I also reminded myself of the simple fact: this journey is to prepare us for the future. 

Everyone says to take it one day at a time. Yes, that's so true; you can become very overwhelmed. But there comes a day, and I promise you, it will come; you aren't just focusing on the hour you're in, you aren't worried about the decisions you're making that second. You look to tomorrow, aware of what challenges come and you have such confidence to get through anything thrown your way. That's when you know this challenge has become a lifestyle. 

October 21, 2013. Meal prep for work & an update picture.

 Be confident in your ability to change your life. You can spend days and hours talking yourself down and talking yourself out of a decision, but you're only hurting yourself. Stop holding yourself back, lift your spirit and mind higher than you ever imagined; progress will take place. You may not like your body, but until you accept it and realize that changes can be done, you will always be stuck where you are. Accept it, look at it, touch it, know what you're working with and start the improvements. Once you see progress, you will fall in love with your imperfect body. Remember, we all have imperfect bodies, it's how we fall in love with them each day that makes us successful. 

Wishing you peace, acceptance, joy, and understanding in this crazy journey. Lean on me, ask questions, find someone who you can be accountable to, and never give up.

xoxo

First 5K & HUGE Milestone!

I'm not a runner. I don't like running, actually. I never ran when I was heavier because I simply couldn't. Now that I can, it's not one of those things I love to, but I will do it. One of my 3 goals for losing weight and becoming fit was to run...not walk for cancer and other issues close to my heart. I told myself that one day I would run a half marathon or maybe a full marathon for raising money for cancer, PCOS, suicide etc. I shared my goals and hope to run a 5k this year with my dear friend, Mamoru, and just days before he left this earth he said, "why just run one 5k? Run 5!" I laughed. I told him I would try. Since he left, I wanted to honor his name and memory in a positive, clean, healthy way. After all, he was one of my biggest supporters. I decided that for the next year I would run as many 5K's as possible. 

I have a t-shirt that his mom, Julie gave me when I was at their home. It has a picture of him and a beautiful writing piece on the back about family. Mamoru was the closest thing to a brother I had, so I thought it was only fitting that with each race I do, I will wear the shirt, write the date, race name, and time on the shirt. After a year, I will frame the shirt and put it on my wall. I didn't realize how emotional participating a 5K would be for me. Yes, I was emotional because I was remembering my friend, but also the simple fact I would have never signed up at 250 lbs...even to walk it. My confidence and self worth has increased beyond belief. 

I spent most of the 5k walking with a friend because of how cold it was! I definately did not train for a 5k in the cold. My lungs were freaking out, even walking. I'm excited though, I plan to actually train for a 5k at least a couple times a week. I think I'll practice running outside during the weekend, so my lungs have some idea as to what to expect. :) 

I did this for you, Mamoru.

I'm noticing strength and endurance in my body that I didn't know existed. I was just telling a friend last week, I feel like I'm in this awkward stage because I know my body can do so much more than what it looks like I'm capable of doing. Yes, I don't look 250 lbs anymore, but I don't look like a body builder either. However, when I see women and men benching weights or doing machines at the gym, and I'm able to keep up, they are shocked. That to me, proves that any number on a scale is crap!! 

I've said this soooo many times before, and I probably will continue to say it until the end of time. It's something I'm extrmeley passionate about and I truly believe nothing (body size, weight, etc) will change unless it place....


LOVE YOURSELF!!! YOUR BODY IS CHANGING,

I had to tell myself that I was worth fighting for. Once I did that, everything fell into place. No, it didn't happen over night and I still had to work very hard and remind myself often of my purpose and love for my body. Once I did though, I felt unstoppable. Be realistic. Stare at yourself in the mirror often. Look at what you're working with. Picture the slightest changes and soon it won't be a picture, it will be reality. The hardest part of this journey is the mental struggles that come with food, body image, and self worth. 

Something this weekend happened that really gave me a new rush of motivation. Last October 13, 2012, I was at a football game and a picture was taken of me. You've probably seen it posted it quit a bit, it's a picture of my heaviest weight 253 lbs. I untagged myself on facebook, deleted it off my facebook, etc when it first was posted. Now, it's a favorite photo to reference because I've come so far!! Anyway, a whole year has passed since that photo, and I decided to wear the same top and the same size jeans as the picture to share a little comparison. :) 

I am wearing a size 18/20 (stretch) American Eagle pants and a XXL stretch sweater.on the picture on the Left. Currently I'm in a size L/M in shirt (depending on the style) & a 12/13 pair of pants.There is a total of 72+ lbs difference between then & now.

PCOS Awareness Month Giveaway Winner!

Congrats! Please stay tuned for when I feature 3 amazing women and their stories this week. 

To everyone who entered, your beauty, strength, and determination was a privilege to read! Best of luck and hugs to you and your journey! 

Please read about Jess Pauly & her journey thus far! 

"Hi! My name is Jess. I'm 19 years old and I was diagnosed with PCOS April 15th, 2013. My doctor tried to explain and answer my questions about it to very little success on that first visit and that visit was followed by monthly blood tests up until August of 2013. My DHEA levels were and still are very very elevated. The first step my doctor took was to put me on metformin. Sadly I had a severe allergic reaction to the medication and I was switched to Victoza which is a once daily injection. Being a 19 year old college student, I bawled my eyes out when my nurse handed me a pack of needles for the month and a sharps container... but I got over it thankfully. My insurance would not cover victoza so two months ago I switched to Byetta which is a twice daily injection and has made me feel somewhat ill but it is working correctly in my body and I've lost 32 lbs in the last two months thanks to the combination of proper medication and my dietician opted to switch me to a Gluten and Dairy Free lifestyle plan. I've been G&D Free for one month now and I will not lie: It sucks. Being used to indulging in bread and cheeses, it was heartbreaking to walk away from my favorite foods but the weight loss has made it worth it. I've added exercise to my daily life (walking for about half an hour) and I've built a support network through my family and friends to try and feel more comfortable with my diagnosis. 
I still sometimes find myself crying and feeling sorry for myself but then I remember how many people are not only supporting me in my daily life but there is this wonderful network of women with PCOS online here as well. That makes me smile all the time! I found the PCOS Awareness Association two weeks ago so I'm still relatively new but it's been amazing to read and post along with everyone else who understands what I'm going through and who I can connect with. So, so far in the last few months I've been playing with new recipes that are good for me as well as taste good, I've been toying around with herbal remedies to some of my unpleasant symptoms and/or side-effects, and I've been trying to step out of my comfort zone and communicate with others who have PCOS as well as remember to ask for help and support when I need it (I'll admit I'm stubborn and really don't like asking for help)."

If you would like to contact Jess, please email:  jpauly@mcnallysmith.edu

With Success Also Comes New Struggles.

I have a habit of posting positive, empowering, encouraging, inspiring posts on Facebook, Instagram, and this blog. (wow that wasn't humble at all...stay tuned you'll get where I'm going with this). Everyone tells me how positive and uplifting I am. I think I don't necessarily try but to keep myself positive, I need to keep a straight mindset when it comes to what can potentially outweigh the bad.

This past month has been tough with losing a great friend, still processing the loss of other family members and just simply juggling work, exercise, clean eating, and life. 

Updated Progress Picture. :)

Confession: I think I might have been under eating the past 3 weeks. A year ago stress made me eat everything in sight especially cheesy pasta and bread. I'm not sure why things have changed so much. I found myself so tired at night I would eat a banana and some peanut butter for dinner. I wouldn't feel like I was starving or famished, but I knew I wasn't eating enough. I had this "I don't care" attitude and for once I just allowed myself to be depressed. I still am. My heart still hurts and it's a constant struggle to stay on track with eating every few hours. 

When I first started my journey I was eating small meals every 2-2.5 hours. After about 4 months of that and my metabolism being "woken up" I decided that a small breakfast afternoon snack, medium lunch, and large dinner was better. I will often switch it up from time to time with lots of little meals.

So, 5-6 months ago I had a slight "binging" problem. I'm sure others will look at what I consider binging and think I'm crazy for classifying it as that but the truth is the emotional triggers is what makes me classify it as that. On a positive note, those episodes have lessened tremendously. I'm extremely proud of myself. I know that of course I will probably do it a time or two more along this journey but the guilt that came with it will not be there. I've also found a way to work through it mentally. When I have the thought of doing it; I drink 20+ ounces of water in one sitting. I don't let the water bottle out of my hands the entire time until it's gone. If the water is gone and I still have the urge I will get 1 thing that's "bad" might be bread or a piece of pizza...something but nothing more than 1 thing. Those two methods seem to help a lot.

My workouts this month (from the 11th on) have been great!I started focusing more on my arms and backs. The weights have been my friend along with machines. However, I know to keep slimming down in the waist area I need to add more cardio as well. I need a nice balance of cardio and weights. 

So, going back to my under eating issue: I will be doing a full week worth of meal prep for the first time this Sunday. I will take pictures, write recipes, and post the process on my blog. I will keep notes on how the week goes and report back. Then, the next time I do it hopefully I can do it better. I'm excited to see how it goes. 

I wanted to share this struggle of "under eating" because this journey throws a lot of challenges at you. By being able to post this one...I'm hoping to accept it as a struggle and issue, better myself and not rely on it as a problem anymore. I'm taking the steps to improve and get back on track. Please understand that NO ONE is PERFECT on this journey. We all falter in different areas at different points. That being said, we learn so much during each stage so keep yourself accountable and accept the emotions, thoughts, and pain that come with each day because those are what teach us the lessons. 

I hope you all are well. Post questions or email me (look in the contact tab) so we can discuss any questions, issues, or problems you might be having. 

Hugs to you.