Running Accomplishments & Finding Help

On Tuesday, I started to focus on running. I told a friend I would be running with her this year, and I made a promise to honor my friend/brother, Mamoru who is no longer with us on earth. He was one of my biggest supporters during my lifestyle change and in my everyday life, and I'm dedicating everything I do to "surprise myself" in his name. Every run, hike, milestone, accomplishment will have his name behind it. 

So, I started the week on Tuesday running 2 miles. I wasn't going for time, I just made sure I could run/walk do intervals for 2 miles. In different intervals I did 2 miles in 31:12. On Wednesday, I decided to go to 2.5 no matter what, but I wanted to see if I could beat my 2 mile mark and I also timed my first mile. I did a mile in 14:38 & beat my 2 mile time by 1:54. On Thursday, I decided to focus more on my arms. I did a circuit & then simply did a cool down walk at an incline. On Friday, I told myself that I wanted to beat my time of my mile of 14:38 because that wasn't good enough for me. I ran my warm up mile in 12:30 which shaved 2:08 off the previous one. Once I took the picture of the time, I thought to myself, 'you should run a 5k, see how it feels'. I hadn't ran/walked/jogged a 5k since October and I wasn't in shape like I was in October. I continued to run another 2.1 miles in 27:59. I had ran a 5k in 40.29. Is that good? It is for me!

I found myself sprinting at the end and hearing this voice in my head say, "You can do this, your lungs are fine, look ahead and run!" When I looked down and saw 2.09 I knew I did it. When I hit that stop button and put my hands on my head to continue my breathing, I started to cry while I was smiling. I had this sense of freedom from the thoughts of 'wow, a 5k the first week you're running, really?' or 'you should ease into this, take it slow'. I came back to the treadmill with the disinfectant spray and rag to wipe it down when the gentlemen next to me got my attention and extended his fist to congratulate me on my win against the voices in my head. 

With yesterdays win, I kept thinking of Mamoru and trying to wrap my head around that I will never feel his hugs or get a phone call from him. I had a friend say "Breathing feels weird when you miss someone so much". It's true. I sat on my couch last night, wrap up in a blanket, staring at his phone number in my phone, sobbing until I couldn't breathe. I let every emotion over-power my mental strength and I just cried until I had to gasp for air. What happened next, I know was a sign. I went to the bathroom to grab tissue and I stopped at the fridge, opened it, starred at the box of pizza my boyfriend ordered earlier and stood there until my eyes were dry. I watched myself grab the box and eat the entire content. I also saw myself crying, again after the binge. I closed the fridge and knew that it was my way of telling myself that the binge I was longing for wouldn't fix the emotional pain I was experiencing. 

What did I do? I drank another 24 oz of water and crawled in bed, said my prayers, and had a dream of running a marathon. All day I kept seeing that scenario play in my head and how it actually played out and I felt a sense of freedom and accomplishment. I made the decision that I will be seeing a counselor when school starts. There is a program on campus for students to discuss any eating issues. I need to focus on mental strength and knowing that I don't need to binge to overcome something painful. It's only harming me in another form.Running has been a saving grace for me this week. I am actually really excited to continue this journey. Of course, I'm still lifting and focusing on my overall goals, but I already see some definition in my stomach area that wasn't there on Tuesday and my legs seem stronger as well. Every time I've ran this week, I've felt a sense of relief or a wall break down; even relating to stresses at work, they seem to disappear and I'm able to mentally process the issues. Between seeing a counselor and running, I've got a pretty great therapy plan, I think. 

Today was my rest day, but I'm off to crawl into bed to prepare for a 2 hour workout with my good friend, Krystal at my gym in the morning. I'm excited to share with her some of my normal routine and just get some more exercise in. I'm feeling better than ever. 

xoxo

 

Running.

I'm not a runner. At all. I used to run outside during the summer and would run a mile and time it. I never did distance, just timed runs. I made a promise in honor my friend/brother, Mamoru to run at least 5- 5K's within a year, because he was my biggest supporter. I'm going to run in the name of depression and suicide. 

I met a new friend, Krystal and she is way more of a runner than I am so, I found someone I can participate in 5K's with! YAY! I'm taking this year seriously when it comes to running. I'm battling with myself mentally, because I love weights, I LOVE lifting! Will all the running ruin muscle gain or progress? I've done research and there's conflicting information...just like everything else out there! 

I've decided that I will run strictly 3xs a week and lift with light cardio 3xs a week and hope that I find a balance. I did my first long distance run today with intervals of speeds and a couple of inclines to strengthen my endurance. Of course, this schedule won't be every single week because I plan to add in boxing again and other workouts, but I'm hoping to really stick to this in order to run 5k's and of course BLOOMSDAY!!!! 

Today was the first day of longer distance. Tomorrow, I plan on getting to 2.5 miles within or just shortly longer than today's time! 

 I'm also LOVING my Spark energy mix! Talk about awesome stuff. I know it was a big reason why I actually ran for 30 minutes instead of just walking.

Happy New Year

I'm not one to set resolutions because lets face it, by July, I forgot what I said would be my resolution. Some people live for their New Years Resolutions and they do great by accomplishing what they set forth to complete. I remember last year, when the clock struck midnight and I was slightly intoxicated I told myself that I wanted to be healthy. I didn't want to feel horrible when I was around friends who were enjoying life. I have to say I think I kept my promise to myself, but I realized throughout this past year that it's a promise I have to keep until my final days on Earth. 

In 2014, I've decided to keep something in the back of my mind at all times and to promise myself to see improvements in this area. Finances. You're probably a lot like me in the sense that finances are a burden and a constant stress. I do live paycheck to paycheck, but I know I don't have to. I've told myself in order to break this cycle and stressful topic, I need to plan RIGHT NOW. I will end 2014 with a nice savings account. That's my promise to myself.

2013 has been an amazing year. Tough, really really really really tough, but amazing. I've learned so much about myself that I don't know how I ever was who I was before. 

I'm not going to take too much time talking about how tough or amazing 2013 was because guess what...it's 2014 & who likes living in the past? 

I want to end my evening on one note: you mean the world to me. If you're reading this for the first time or have followed my journey since the beginning, you truly mean the world to me. Your support, interest, love, nice words, and encouragement keeps me going. The past month and a half was the toughest part and instead of feeling like I'm behind, I'm picking up right where I left off. Currently in my kitchen, I have some meal prepping going on and it doesn't feel like I've struggled the last month. I'm back in my groove, and I hope that you are staying focused or that you're starting for the first time. Just keep pushing forward. 

Thank you for your love, I wouldn't be where I am with you. 

xoxo

I'm Back! Stronger than Ever.

Do you know what happens when you chose to not workout for a month? Your endurance becomes close to nothing. Your muscles are extremely sore after 10 minutes. You feel like you’re starting all over again. Most important, you discover a new-found love and passion again for your health and body.

On Dec, 26, as promised I got back on track after the crazy month of holidays. I got back in the gym and killed myself. I found myself struggling and gasping for air. It was tough, emotionally. I used to lift heavier, go faster, keep up, and feel my body changing. Now, I’m starting from the beginning again, pacing myself, and listening to my body scream, “What have you done?!” How frustrating? I absolutely put myself in this position. I chose to not workout for a month and to eat poorly.

However, I don’t regret it. The past two days in the gym; I feel in love. I felt myself break down mentally and have to push harder and because I completed all reps and upped my weights, I fell in love with myself again. I was so fearful that I had let go or given up. But knowing I haven’t…gives me the hope that this lifestyle is working and sticking. I’ve never discovered myself until I changed my lifestyle. I had no purpose in my life…I was just living. It took me to push, trust, love, and motivate myself before I knew my worth as a person and child of God. 

I had a great time working out with my friend, Tiffany! She came a hour from home to visit me and workout with me. How lucky am I to have such fantastic friends? I had such a great time being back home in Keller with friends and family. I found that being home with my family for both Thanksgiving and Christmas helped my depression. I haven’t been home in two years for Christmas and I’m so glad I came home. I know I’m more prone being depressed during the winter months, but having 6 days being home with my family, next to the wood stove, and something familiar and comfortable really helped me realize that I can always come home.  

Me, Nana, & Momma the morning I left.

So now, I’m back home in Missoula from being at home for 6 days and it’s time to get back into a routine. I’m so excited to push myself and really earn a reward of a tattoo on January 29 for my 22^nd birthday.

I’m so excited to embrace this new phase in my journey. This was needed. The past 4 weeks was necessary for me to feel like I am right now, in this moment. I wouldn’t change the way I walk through this journey for anything. I am learning to embrace each day and each new lesson so I can become this, new and improved Chelsea that has the world at my fingertips.

I can’t express how much a person’s soul can change when they challenge and surprise themselves. If you ever want to doubt yourself, stop and challenge yourself to think and act differently. You’ll never regret it. I promise it.

New Goal to Enter the New Year!

I've said it once and I'll say it again: I'm not perfect. This holiday season has been the longest I've gone without working out and eating right since I started this journey but I've learned a lot about myself and have made a lot of mental triumphs.

However, I've recently felt the change in my body. Some of my clothes don't fit as loose as they did in November, my skin isn't as clear, I feel sluggish, and all I want to do is sleep. Yes, I hate winter because of my depression. 

Because of these changes here are my NEW goals as of December 26. I plan on rewarding myself to help me stay on track and not slip up. From December 26-January 29 I will do the following in order to buy myself a tattoo on my 22nd birthday (January 29).

• Workout 6 days a week. 1 rest day (unless I'm sick from the chest down).
• Eat clean 90/10 during the week. 
• No eating out until February 1! Even on my birthday. 
• 1 gallon of water a day. 
• Try 1 new recipe each week (and post the recipe on the blog). 

I'm so excited to get back on track. i'm still proud of my accomplishments so far, but I'm excited to see where I'll be with my new found passion and desire to keep this journey going. 

In other news, I'm so so so so so so so so so blessed by the people and opportunities in my life! My Aunt Sue totally out did herself this Christmas! She has continuously supported my journey and life since the day we met. So, thank you for my awesome new workout gear and smell good that I was eying the day before!

 

My office did a "Secret Santa" exchange this year which was so much fun! I was lucky enough to have the Dean of the Graduate School draw my name and he and his daughter picked out a book I've wanted for months!! I encourage all my PCOS Cysters to get it for their collection! 

 Finally, I own my first Lululemon products! I was luck enough to win an awesome giveaway on Instagram and I got a $50.00 gift card. Now, I've had several people talk to me about the company and owner and how he has said mean hurtful things toward plus size women. I was not aware of it, and hope that there is no judgement being made. I will do my research and make a decision to either support or discontinue my business with Lululemon. However, I would have never ordered the headbands and underwear with my own money because their items are far too expensive for my lifestyle.

  I want to end this post by saying thank you! Thank you for the support. I appreciate it more than words can say. I hope you have a very MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!!! I will check in after the new year. I'm off to Washington until December 29! So excited to be with family and friends this Christmas. 

Pause or Plateau? Exhausted or Excuses?

I have discovered this new "phase"...yes, lets call it a "phase". Phases end, right? Anyway, this new phase began as an innocent weekend of fun with friends. You know, bars, bad food and even worse breakfast food the next day. I told myself: 1. You don't go out a lot so you deserve to have fun. 2. You won't gain all the weight back in a weekend, you're 21, so don't act like you're 80. I had a great weekend with friends, especially my best friend who came into town from Iowa.

The following week was the week I left on Wed for Washington to spend time with family for Thanksgiving. I refused to buy groceries to put in my house to have most of them go to waste. (I haven't learned how to buy less than 7 days worth of food). 

Before & During.

Just like everyone else who celebrate holidays, I continued to make poor choices when it came to food. It wasn't completely horrible, but definitely not as clean as it should have been. I told myself that life is about adjusting and not worrying during a time that's supposed to be happy and filled with memories. 

Progress is progress. No matter what.

To be completely honest, I had a hard time staying on track because I've been struggling financially; along with the rest of America, I'm sure. I know it isn't impossible to eat clean or make smart choices on a low budget, but I didn't take the necessary steps like meal prepping or planning meals. 

I've had a couple of victories through the last 3 weeks. I've learned a lot about what I care about and what no longer takes up my concentration and focus. 

I can eat bad food in front of people, instead of binging. 
I know that my body responds better to clean food. 
Alcohol makes my stomach hurt; the sugar content in some drinks puts me in so much pain.
Too much bread in a week causes for major bloat and gluten belly. 
I no longer care about the scale; I measure success by visual improvements and clothes. 
My confidence was still high; even without working out and eating clean.  

I'm excited to continue this beautiful journey. My soul has transformed so much; there's no way I'll be stopping, ever. 

New "before" pictures. Next pictures will be on my 22nd birthday.

 I'm now working toward feeling AMAZING on my 22nd birthday! I know the past 3 weeks have put me back a little, but I am going to work hard to feel AMAZING on my birthday. Last year, I didn't take a full body shot photo because I was so embarrassed; no more of that!

New hair. Love going red! :)

Too Much Passion?

If you're reading this you're either subscribed or you saw me post the link on my personal Facebook page. 

I want to start by addressing something that I'm sure many of you have thought or mentioned to your friends. 

You're annoyed at all the fitness related posts on my personal facebook page, right? My check-ins at the gym, motivational/inspiring pictures found off Pinterest, my progress pictures, talking about how much I love my new workout routine, or tagging all my friends about a FREE boxing class here in town.

I totally get it. When fitness/healthy eating was the last thing on my mind, it annoyed the crap out of me too. I hated it. But guess what? Every person I knew in that journey and who posted about it, inspired me in one way or another. They gave me ideas of different workouts, possiblibities, and their positivity was this "thing" I wanted to be a part of. I was just too lazy and not ready to start my own journey. 

I really have tried to downsize the amount of fitness related posts I post on Facebook. I try to stick to my Instagram (there's no way I'll ever downsize that, so get to stepping if you don't like that!). I enjoy facebook because a lot of friends and family from all over the world is on there and that's how we all know what's going on in one another lives.

While I will continue to not post as many fitness related posts, you have to understand one thing: I'm passionate. It's my life now. This isn't just a month or two where I want to "lose 5 pounds and tone up". This way of life is MY LIFE. I thrive and my happiness comes from my workouts, my clean eating, and making friends with the same common goals and interest. My support group here in Missoula, my friends who go to boxing classes with me or to the gym, they are a large part of my life. They are supporting me in my efforts to see what I really can do with my life. We support one another. So, I really don't want to say "if you don't like it, unfriend me", but the reality is...I will post about my life, and my life is different than it was a year ago. I would hope that my true friends and family would like to see me evolve and morph into this better version of myself. 

Those of you who tell me how great it is to see me posting about it and inspiring you, thank you for reminding me that sometimes when you better yourself, there's a chain reaction for those around you. I appreciate you & love you for that. 

Now, moving on to th fun/challenging week that I had.

If you haven't noticed by my facebook or Instagram posts, I FREAKING LOVE BOXING!!! I go to Title Boxing Club in Missoula & have been lucky to attend the past couple of weeks on a free 2 free week voucher I got for running in the Diva Dash a few months back. I'm not competing to hopefully get a 3 free month membership by donating a lot of canned food items. 

The workout is called "Power Hour" and it's exactly a hour with 15 minute "warm up" which makes you want to slightly dry heave or die. Then there are 8 rounds of 3 minute sessions on the bag focusing on combos, speed, power, etc. Then the last 15 minutes is your ab/core workout. My first time was intimidating but positive, and now I'm addicted. I love the full body workout you get, the staff, and the results! I burn over 700 calories per hour at the classes, which is unbelievable! 

Here is a picture of just 10 days between each side. I did my fasted cardio 3 times a week and then adding more boxing into the mix. 

November 1-November 11.

I'm hoping to continue to take advantage of free classes or hopefully win a free 3 month membership! :) It's a little out of my budget right now, but if I am able to buy a few months down after the new year, I definately will. 

The ladies I go to boxing with our some of my favorites. Having met new friends through this sport, I'm so thankful! 

This week I did take 2 rest days, back to back which isn't like me but I took my normal rest day on Tuesday and then Wednesday I came home and had a mental/emotional breakdown. I just feel like I've focused so much on work, my workouts, and meal prepping that I am completely scattered at home. So, I stayed home and got things in order and plan on finishing some house cleaning and organizing today. 

On Thursday, I went to the Women's Club here in Missoula with Alesha, just to try it out as her guest for a week. It was a great workout and again, meeting a new friend, Rachel was great! I'm so excited to continue to workout with these ladies and motivate one another. I've used Instagram for so long and the Facebook group made by Amber and I, that I forgot that if you look hard enough, you can find some awesome people right where you are!

I hope you have a great weekend, and stay active! This week and weekend I'm going HARD because my best friend, Chelsea is coming to town & I want to go out and have a good time! I'm already excited about staying motivated during my break for Thanksgiving and going home. Already have some workout buddies planned back home! 

XOXO